Where Should I Send My Kids to School?

Pastor, where should I send my kids to school?

As pastor to many young families, I get this question quite often, and I think it’s a question well worth asking. I also believe a pastor must be very wise in his answer. Like anyone, pastors have preferences, past experiences, and convictions based on their own education journeys. These can inform a pastor’s thinking, but they should not become the law for all other families to follow.

Many families in our state now have three options to educate their children: public school, private school or homeschool. I have experienced all three firsthand. Both my wife and I have education degrees and taught in public schools before ministry. My father was a public school teacher and bivocational pastor. My wife homeschooled our two oldest children for three years, and now our children attend a private Christian school. I’ve seen great benefit and growth from all three settings. I have also observed that each setting has its own set of challenges.

This is why I try very hard to encourage each family to make the choice that best fits their own needs. To help families with this, I’ve often asked them a few questions. Perhaps these, along with a bit of commentary, will be beneficial to you.

What are your options?

Not every family has the financial ability to consider private school. Likewise, some families do not have the ability for a parent or caregiver to stay home full-time in order to homeschool. Factors like these cause me to cringe when I hear some spiritual leader say that Christian families must put their children in a private Christian school or homeschool them in order to be godly. Is the day coming when Christ-followers will have no choice but to pull their children out of public school? If the Lord does not return, I believe this is a possibility. Is that day upon us? Perhaps public school is that detrimental in some communities, but certainly not in mine. In fact, some of the most mature and authentic Christ-followers I know are teachers, coaches, administrators and board members in our public school system.

What fits your family?

I know many highly educated stay-at-home moms who are choosing to homeschool because they have both the time and ability. It just fits their family. I also see this among exceptionally large families. I know some families who choose the private school route because, unlike in my community, the public schools in their area are weak academically or grossly underfunded. God makes each family unique, so each family must decide what works best for their children.

What fits your child?

Don’t miss the wording — child is singular. Families with multiple children need to understand that each child’s educational needs are different. One child may flourish in a large public school setting with multiple avenues of social, academic, artistic and athletic involvement. Another child may be much more comfortable and able to learn with the one-on-one attention of a parent. Still others may need the Christian values and parameters present in a private school setting. Parents should evaluate the options available — not only for the whole family, but also for each child.

You do realize this is not forever, right?

I don’t think parents are capable of making 13-year decisions for their child’s education. I’ve had some young couples burdened about their kindergarten choices because they wrongly assume the child will remain in that chosen setting until high school graduation. This is simply not true. Each child’s journey should be monitored and, if needed, changed along the way. A stable home allows most children to make quick adjustments to new schools or new settings. I encourage families to take it one year at a time.

What is God leading us to do?

I know a man who raised three godly sons. He felt deeply committed that giving them access to a Christian education was crucial to their development. He made financial sacrifices to do so, and I would argue his efforts have paid off. I also know another man, my father, who raised two sons who are now pastors. Private Christian school was just not an option for his sons, so he (along with my mom) was intentional about monitoring our growth, friends, influences and academic progress. I would like to believe that this man’s sons turned out to be faithful men.

Through a set of unique circumstances, I have become a friendly acquaintance of Jim Bob Duggar and his very large family (from television’s “19 Kids and Counting”). They have worshiped in our church, and I’ve shared a few meals with them. For many reasons, they have chosen to homeschool their children, and it is quite a blessing to see their older ones now enter adulthood faithfully committed to Christ.

Three families, three success stories, three different routes. My point is obvious: The freedom we have in Christ translates into this decision for parents. Each family must come before the Lord about this decision and trust and follow His lead.

How will you redeem your child’s educational experience, and how will you teach them to do the same?

This is the most important question. No matter how parents choose to educate their children, it is clearly their responsibility to display a commitment to Christ and His gospel throughout the journey. Spiritual education lies first in the home and nowhere else. Neither the church nor the school can replace the heart-shaping influence of a mother and father humbly following Christ in front of the child — moment by moment, day by day.

Whether it is the sinful, worldly values in a public school classroom, hypocrisy in a private Christian school, or laziness at the kitchen table of a homeschooled child, every challenge, struggle and sin must be looked upon through the lens of the gospel and the Word of Christ. By doing this, any educational setting can be a place of redemption and training for the glory of God.

— D.J. Horton is president of the South Carolina Baptist Convention and pastor of Anderson Mill Road Baptist Church in Moore.