Wholly Healthy: Shaping Safe Lives for Our Children

Our children learn in many ways. They learn, of course, in school. They learn from what they see on television and the Internet. (Heaven help us.) They learn from what we tell them as parents, and they learn from the way we live. In fact, we are walking, talking billboards that our children watch and read every single day.

As such, our words and actions teach them about faith and relationships, about hard work and personal ethics. We teach them about gentility and appropriate anger. The list goes on and on. It is so important, that as my children begin to grow up, I find myself frantically going back over the “life syllabus.” I’m constantly asking myself, “Did you cover that topic adequately?” The overall answer is yes, but, like every parent and teacher, there are some holes here and there. But that’s life on this earth, with an imperfect and fallen/forgiven father like me. (Their mother is perfect, in my opinion, so we have that covered.)

We also teach them, by our actions (or inactions), about their health and safety. When we eat junk food all day long, they get the message. And when we fathers spend all of our free time in the recliner, exercising only our thumbs and eyes as we watch television, well, that’s a lesson every kid can understand with a minimum of effort.

Hopefully we know this. If we do, or even if this is just now occurring to the dear reader, it would be wise for us to wear our seat belts and be careful. We should keep ourselves in shape, eat well — but not too much — get out in the sun, play and exercise, stop smoking and avoid mind-altering, life-snatching chemicals of abuse. It would behoove us to stay married and model love and faithfulness, affection and sexuality, all of which have powerful effects on the future physical and mental health of our kids. This opportunity to shape their lives is simultaneously the gift and peril of parenthood.

But if we truly love our children, we must do this one more thing: We must be honest, bold and fearless about sharing the lessons of our own errors. I hear this far too often: “Well, I drank in high school, so who am I to tell him not to?” Or this: “Well, I had her at 16, and kids will be kids, and I’d be a hypocrite to tell her not to have sex, you know?”

No, in fact, I don’t know. You see, our experiences, even the bad ones, are an inheritance for our kids. And this applies to health and morality as well as finances and hobbies. We’d never say, “Son, I broke my back jumping off the garage with only a sheet as a parachute. Who am I to say you shouldn’t try it, too?”

The very best way for us to keep our children healthy and safe is for us to show them the right things to do. And the next best thing is for us to tell them about the mistakes we made ourselves and inform them why they shouldn’t do the same.

There’s no reason for loving parents to avoid either method as we prepare our precious daughters and sons to have happy, healthy and safe lives.