Comic Belief: Do You Understand Me?

It’s hard for kids to understand church. One little boy went to see a musical called “Mr. Salty.” He loved the musical and he loved Mr. Salty. The next Sunday in church he got extremely angry and left the building. When his mother found him he had tears in his eyes and said, “I hate this church.” “Why?” asked his mother? “They hate Salty and I love Salty.” “What do you mean, son?” “They were singing it over and over again in church.” The new chorus in church was, “I Exalt Thee.” But the boy understood “I hate Salty.”

Kids also get their prayers mixed up. One kid prayed, “And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.” Kids think concretely. Adults say one thing, and kids hear whatever makes sense to them. Like the kid who prayed, “Give us this day our jelly bread.” Or another that comes to mind is the kid who had trouble in his second grade class with Mrs. Murphy. When he tried to quote the Scripture “Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,” it came out, “Surely good Mrs. Murphy will follow me all the days of my life.”

When we speak to children, we must take time to communicate clearly to them. We have to learn to enter into the child’s world. This is especially true when it comes to behavior. Parents will often tell a child what not to do, and the child will hear the instructions with good intentions to obey what the parent said, but will end up doing exactly what he wasn’t supposed to do. Why? Was it the child’s behavior or the parent’s instruction? It was both. “He did what I said, my son, my good buddy. I said don’t get dirty, so instead he got muddy.”

One preacher’s kid had to sit by himself in church since his mother was in the choir and his father was preaching. Every time his dad began to preach, the boy left his front row seat to go to the bathroom. Exasperated, his dad told him, “I don’t want to see you go to the bathroom in church today. Do you understand me?” “Yes,” said the boy. The boy understood his father didn’t want to see him go to the bathroom. In the child’s mind, going to the bathroom wasn’t the problem, seeing him go was the problem. So in the middle of the service, he had to go. He crawled under the pews all the way to the end so his dad wouldn’t see him. His dad saw a lot of confused faces as the boy crawled through the pews to the exit. The boy thought he was doing exactly what his dad wanted him to do, and of course his dad thought it was the worst thing he could have done.

I have a pastor friend whose son was supposed to care for the family dog. The boy continually left the back gate open, and the dog would get out. Finally the pastor had reached his limit. He told his son, “If you let the dog out one more time, when I get home I’m going to burn your britches.” Sure enough, the kid left the gate open and the dog got out. Keep in mind, this was a small town and everyone knew where the pastor lived. His mother looked out the kitchen window and saw her son taking all his clothes off as he stood in front of a barrel of water. Embarrassed and shocked, she ran outside. “What are you doing?” The boy replied, “Dad said if I let the dog out one more time he was going to burn my britches. These are my favorite britches so I’m putting them in this barrel of water so they will be so wet they won’t burn.”

Why would I spend so much time talking about children and church? Most adults in church don’t understand what we’re talking about either. You say one thing and they hear another. Communicate on a child’s level, and you’ll be surprised how many adults will also understand.