I recently read an interesting article in Christian Counseling Today by Les Carter. He described “intermittent explosive disorder” (a DSM-IV classification). The disorder is characterized by unpredictable episodes of extreme anger and/or physical outbursts. The person often loses control, assaults others, and destroys property. They express rage.
Carter writes, “Very early in life, most ragers received the message that they did not measure up to the requirements of harsh or critical authorities. Non-accceptance was common. Belittlement was routine.” People with this disorder fight back in destructive and self-defeating ways. They crave respect, and they want to be treated like they are somebody important, special and valuable.
Carter says their approach is an “I’ll show you” way of responding. Their episodes of rage most always follow minor events. Their actions are way out of proportion to the trigger.
Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Far too many children today are growing up with tendencies toward behavior of this sort because they did not have the kind of relationship with their parents they needed.
The disorder is found most often in men and is considered by many an impulse control disorder. The most commonly prescribed course of treatment is a combination of mood stabilizers, anti-depressants and counseling.
Parents can take time to develop godly relationships with their children while they have the chance. Kids need to know they are loved and accepted.
Growing up in a loving home with involved parents helps kids learn how to handle anger appropriately.
Adults may also struggle with this problem. It is helpful to recognize that anger is a secondary emotion, many times arising out of the primary condition of frustration. By identifying the frustration and dealing with that in a healthy way, a person can avoid the self-defeating anger that hurts himself and others.
Finally, remember and obey the admonition of Ephesians 4:26: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”