(Editors’ note: This article was originally published at cf-northwest.com)
“You should just forgive and forget.”
“When wronged, you are called to forgive and forget.”
“You should do what God does with your sins and forgive and forget the sins of others.”
I am sure that each person reading this has been told to “forgive and forget” or has heard of the concept before reading this post; however, is this a biblical concept?
Short Answer: “Forgive and forget” is not a biblical phrase, and taken literally can be misleading. The Bible does explicitly call us to forgive decidedly, fully, and covenantally, but not to erase the memory of wrongdoing or to deny wisdom, justice, or consequences.
Long Answer: Below is a biblical framework addressing the question, “Is ‘forgive and forget’ a biblical concept?”
1. The phrase itself is not biblical
The Bible never commands believers to “forgive and forget.” You will not find these two words side by side in any prescription within biblical wisdom. In fact, “forgetting” in the modern sense — which, in essence, boils down to pretending something never happened — is not presented as a moral duty anywhere in Scripture.
Even God does not “forget” in the sense implied by the counsel to “forgive and forget” Think about this:
-
God is omniscient (Isa. 46:8-10)
-
He remembers sins in His judgment (Rev. 20:12)
-
Yet He also “remembers them no more” in His redemption (Heb. 8:12)
This language is covenantal and redemptive, not cognitive.
2. What Scripture does say: God “remembers sins no more”
As was just referenced, Hebrews 8:12 tells us that in His mercy toward our wrongdoing, He will remember our sins no more. Praise God for His forgiveness!
But, if we hold that God is omniscient, this text cannot mean that God loses knowledge of our sins. Rather, it means:
-
He no longer holds them against us
-
He does not bring them forward as evidence of condemnation
-
He removes them from His judicial record
Psalm 103:12 declares this with summative exclamation:
“As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
Thus, biblical forgiveness is a judicial and relational act, not an act of mental amnesia or ignorance.
3. Biblical forgiveness defined
To biblically forgive someone is to make a deliberate, gospel-shaped, judicial decision in light of verifiable wrongdoing. When I forgive someone, I am committing to a series of things.I am committing:
- Not to hold the offense against the wrongdoer before God just as God will do for those whom He has forgiven (Rom. 8:1).
- Not to seek personal vengeance ( Rom. 12:19).
- Not to continually bring up the sin to condemn or weaponize it while insisting on your way (1 Cor. 13:5).
- To treat the person according to grace, not the offense, where repentance has occurred (Luke 17:3–4).
This mirrors God’s forgiveness of us sinners in Christ.
4. Scripture assumes memory without resentment
Throughout Scripture, you will find examples of sins being remembered without the presence of sinful bitterness. One of these examples is seen in how Jesus responded to Peter after Peter denied him. In Christ’s response:
- He does not pretend the offense did not happen
- He restores Peter intentionally and publicly
- The acknowledgment of the sin remains, but the relationship is healed
5. Forgiveness does not eliminate consequences or boundaries
Scripturally, forgiveness is distinguished from immediate trust, removal of consequences, or elimination of wisdom-based boundaries. Examples:
- David was forgiven, yet consequences remained (2 Sam. 12:13–14)
- Church discipline is still prescribed even following repentance (Matt. 18, 1 Cor. 5)
- Leaders can be forgiven yet disqualified from the office (1 Tim. 3, Tit. 1)
Thus to forgive is not to pretend nothing happened. Consequential actions are oftentimes called for.
6. A better biblical phrase
So, if “forgive and forget” is not a biblical phrase, what would be a better formulation? I believe it would be better to say, “Forgive fully, and remember rightly.” In greater detail, you could say, “Forgive as God forgives; by not counting the sin against them.” A key verse to point to is 1 Corinthians 13:5, “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”
As we are wronged, we must remember that we are directly called to fully forgive while rightly addressing the wrongdoing. Rightly upholding justice is where consequences such as relational boundaries arise. However, in upholding wisdom-based consequences, we are to keep no ledger of wrongdoing equipping us to weaponize previous wrongdoing on the one whom we have forgiven. We are to forgive as our omniscient father has forgiven us.
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our debts,
As we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
(Matthew 6:9–13)
— Jared Thomas is a pastor at Christ Fellowship Northwest. He is an alumni of North Greenville University and holds an MA in Marriage and Family Counseling (2012), a Master’s in Theology (2014), and a Ph.D. in Counseling (2017) from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. He is married to Lindsay and together they have four children: Turner, Liza Jill, Lorelei, and Sawyer.
