Christian mothers often spend tremendous time asking the wrong questions. We debate homeschooling styles, endlessly research curriculum, compare academic progress, and deliberate over co-ops. While these decisions are not insignificant, they are secondary to a far greater question. Am I discipling my children in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord”? (Eph. 6:4).
Discipleship is the intentional, everyday work of teaching our children to know, love, and follow Jesus in every area of life. It’s not a question of if our children are being discipled, but by whom and to what end? The purpose of education is not only to produce knowledgeable children but faithful disciples. Education serves discipleship; discipleship does not serve education.
Education Is Not Neutral
Most Christians rightly desire for their children to have a biblical worldview, yet many reduce this down to church attendance or a bedtime devotional. Homeschoolers may think choosing the “right” curriculum will ensure our children have been discipled well and have a proper worldview. But both of these assumptions lack the foundation clearly found in Scripture. Proverbs 9:10 teaches, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” A biblical worldview must answer: Who is God? Who is man? What is man’s problem? What is truth?
Education is not the mere passing on of facts, but the formation of a worldview. We should be concerned not just with what our children know, but with what they believe about what they know. Facts do not exist in isolation. They are interpreted through a particular worldview — either one that acknowledges and loves God, or one that does not. History is not simply people, dates, events, and locations; it’s an unfolding display of God’s providence across time and nations. Science is not only data and experimentation; it reflects what we believe about creation, order, and design. Literature is more than good stories; it teaches us about beauty, truth, and the realities of the human heart. Scripture consistently places the primary responsibility for the spiritual instruction of children upon parents: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up” (Deut. 6:6–7). God never intended discipleship to be separated from the daily rhythms of life.
The Heart Before the Head
While modern families are often fragmented and pulled in different directions, homeschooling allows for the cultivation of deep familial relationships. Mothers underestimate how much learning happens outside of formal lessons. As children watch their mother respond to sibling conflicts, academic struggles, or unforeseen challenges, they will learn how to live out the gospel in their daily lives. In our moments of excitement over a newly learned skill, success in a difficult subject, or discovery of new information, mothers can point back to the One who gave those gifts. Intentional discipleship looks like using these moments throughout our day as an opportunity to teach the truths of Scripture.
However, we mustn’t be tempted to think proximity automatically produces quality discipleship. We can become more concerned with productivity than we are with character. In our efforts to maintain comfort and order, we may neglect the difficult task of biblical conflict resolution. In our striving for academic success, we may fail to prioritize spiritual formation. The primary question cannot simply be, “What does my child know?” but, “What does my child love?” Knowledge alone is insufficient. A child may become highly educated while lacking the fruit critical to the Christian life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22–23). The goal is not producing the smartest individual in the room; the goal is wisdom. My husband’s mentor once shared a piece of wisdom that was passed onto him: “I’d rather have a plowboy who knows the Word of God than the most learned ecclesiastic in an ivory tower.” Do not miss the goal of discipleship in the pursuit of being an educator.
Faithful Stewardship
In direct opposition to idolizing academic excellence is using the freedom of homeschooling as an excuse for educational neglect. One gift of homeschooling is the ability to customize your children’s education to their unique abilities and difficulties. Our schooling doesn’t require us to be bound to a particular set of standards. Our children’s intelligence is not measured by a standardized test score. Their pace isn’t dictated by grade level or birthdate.
This, however, does not negate the parents’ responsibility to provide an adequate education for their children. There is freedom to choose a style, curriculum, and pace that works well for both teacher and student, but Christians should reject laziness and pursue excellence in whatever work God has placed before them. Colossians 3:23 instructs believers: “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”
Parents must also resist the temptation to believe that a schooling choice will guarantee the salvation of their children. Even the most faithful homeschooling cannot regenerate a child’s heart. We cannot simply educate our children into the kingdom. While God delights when parents are obedient to the call to disciple their children well, it is only Christ who can give them a new heart. It is not our responsibility to produce faith, but to faithfully cultivate the soil, plant seeds of the gospel, and trust God with the growth (1 Cor. 3:6).
Discipleship in Action
Faithful discipleship in your homeschool is not limited to a family devotional, prayer time, or Bible curriculum. It is the foundation that shapes how we teach every subject, how we respond to conflict and disappointments, and how we celebrate our children’s successes. The beauty of homeschooling is that discipleship is not another task to add; it happens naturally through the education you’re already providing. Small shifts in the ways we teach and engage with our children can create meaningful opportunities for intentional discipleship.
- Establish foundational habits. Start the homeschooling day with Scripture, verse memorization, catechisms and prayer. A simple morning liturgy sets the tone that God is the foundation of our entire day.
- Use the ordinary to reach your child’s heart. During times of difficulty, resist the urge to push it aside to get back to the lesson at hand. Take a moment to pause and investigate the heart. During times of great success, model joy, gratitude, and humility. Point your children to the Giver of their gifts, rather than allowing their achievements to produce a boastful pride.
- Prioritize family-style learning. Some subjects, like math and reading, may require individual pacing, but many subjects, such as Bible, science, and history, can be taught together, even if only in small parts. Shared learning times create space to read, discuss, and learn from one another while simplifying a busy homeschool day.
- Choose a curriculum that serves. We can have high hopes of using the most popular curriculum, but if it simply sits on our bookshelf, it hasn’t served well. Prayerfully consider the needs of your children, and the limits of your life circumstances and budget, and choose the curriculum that will best serve your family’s pursuit of wisdom. Remember that the curriculum isn’t our master; God is. Before even opening a textbook, ask yourself, “Is this helping us to know God and enjoy Him more faithfully?”
- Read excellent literature. Reading is a necessity of homeschooling, but not all literature is created equally. Choosing quality literature that communicates virtue, courage, humility, truth, and beauty is a valuable tool in the spiritual formation of our children. As you read, discuss what the story is teaching us about God, man, and our world. Resources like For the Children’s Sake, Honey for a Child’s (Teen’s) Heart, and Who Should We Then Read? are fantastic for helping parents with this.
- Practice repentance often. Increased time together also means increased opportunity for conflict. One of the most powerful opportunities for discipleship is when mothers recognize and confess their own sin, and seek forgiveness. Regularly modeling humility in repentance shows our children that the gospel is not merely something we teach them, but something we live before them. When children inevitably sin against you or one another, you are in a position to help them ask for and give forgiveness.
At the end of our homeschooling years, our greatest hope is not that our children remember the lessons we taught, but that they know the God those lessons revealed and delight to follow Him all their lives. May our homes be places where learning continually leads our children toward wisdom, worship, and faithful obedience to Christ.
“We do not merely give a religious education … . We hold that all education is divine and that the culmination of all education is that personal knowledge of and intimacy with God” — Charlotte Mason, British Christian educator and pioneer of home education.
— Lauren Smith is a member of Abner Creek Baptist Church in Greer, S.C. She and her husband, Chris, have been married for nearly 15 years, and they have seven children.
