Claire Sieber M.Ed. LAC, a Christian family counselor, notes that “while experiencing a change, it is important to reinstate social normalcy. Resuming an interactive lifestyle will foster feelings of positive self-worth and growth vital to maintaining stability in the midst of change.” Sieber stresses the definition of “social normalcy” as being those activities which make one feel normal and in control of one’s life.
Linda Karges-BoneSocially, Christian parents can embrace change by adopting several specific attitudes:
1) Look for opportunities to serve as you negotiate change. When Ann moved to a new town, she found meaningful work and friendship by volunteering at a local crisis pregnancy center.
2) Seek connections and help your children to seek connections as you negotiate change. Michael’s shift into middle school wasn’t going well until he joined the computer club. Finding like-minded kids gave him the confidence to think about enjoying, rather than dreading, middle school.
Making connections can be defined as “reaching out” instead of “pulling in” during a time of change. Unlike the first suggestion, in which we can look for opportunities to serve, this idea is to simply “get involved,” which gives us a new perspective and a place for our energy to go instead of into worry and anxiety.
3) Ask for support if you need it, and even if you don’t. Megan thought that having a new baby would help her to forget the infant that she and Daniel lost to miscarriage, but the pain was still weighing her down. A few sessions with a counselor helped Megan and Daniel to be assured that the miscarriage had not been “their fault,” and they moved on to enjoy their new son. Asking for support is more complex than seeking to serve or making connections. This involves a formal session with a professional or an informal session with a mentor or pastor. It is a good idea to ask for support when the change seems to be threatening your physical or mental well-being or your marriage. First John 5:15 is a great comfort: “And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.” Go ahead, ask for prayer and for help.
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