“I think we have a marriage like many Americans, maybe even like many of you. Elected officials are really just reflections of the people we represent.”
Bob WeathersWith those words, New York Gov. David Paterson brushed aside his admission in March of multiple extramarital affairs, most of which he had since 1999 and during his time as an elected official. A steward of the government. A servant of the people.
A marriage like many Americans? I hope not.
On the plus side, he also said that he and his wife, with their marriage unraveling and divorce nearly inevitable, sought counseling, dealt with his “fidelity problems,” and sewed their relationship back together. Good for them. Yet, in the next breath, he waved off the seriousness of the affairs with the quip, “No marriage is perfect.” Besides, since he had not advanced any woman’s career because she had submitted to his advances, he argued that he had not “broken” his “commitment to the citizens of New York state.”
Paterson, of course, is replacing Gov. Eliot Spitzer, forced to resign because he committed a crime when he paid for sex with a prostitute. But didn’t both men break the “commitment” to the people of New York? Evidently, in New York state, as long as you don’t pay for your infidelity, then it’s okay.
But what about Gov. Paterson’s insulting contention that his marriage represents most American unions? I don’t think so. Have we so cheapened the wonderful union of marriage as to expect infidelity and consider it the norm?
I would argue instead that, sadly, his justification demonstrates not so much the sad state of marriage in this nation as the sad state of leadership. Leaders are stewards, keepers of a valuable trust, protectors of a privilege. Leaders do not have to be perfect, but they should not be so glib about the responsibilities of life and leadership, either.
When Jesus was asked about divorce by the religious leaders of his day, his reply began with God’s ideal for marriage (Matthew 19:4-6). That’s instructive. Leaders – whether in law, government, religion, education, or whatever – should inspire us to be the best we can be, to reach for the ideal in our public and our private lives, not to diminish who God designed us to be.