The headline in my hometown newspaper, The Greenville News, immediately caught my eye and just as quickly gained my undivided attention. “Autobiographical memory haunts woman” was the headline above the article on May 13.
Don KirklandJill Price was the subject of the article by Marilyn Elias of USA Today. The 42-year-old Price is able to recall in detail every day of her life since she was 14 years old.
Price’s uncanny ability was placed under skilled scrutiny at the University of California-Irvine for six years. The results of that study were published in a professional journal in 2006.
In the meantime, Price, the administrator for a religious school in suburban Los Angeles, went on with her life – filled, no doubt, with a flood of memories.
Her story now is told in a recently published book entitled “The Woman Who Can’t Forget.”
In her interview with USA Today, Price revealed something not at all surprising for someone with an unfailing memory: It is a blessing and a curse. Good memories give her comfort. On the other hand, she can recall every poor decision, every insult given out and received, and each embarrassing situation. The collective impact of the darker side? “It has eaten me up,” she told USA Today. She has discovered, to her dismay, that peaceful sleep is a rarity due to the “assault” of her memories.
Blocking out remembrance that has “paralyzed” her life apparently is not an option. “I can’t stop,” she said in the article. “It doesn’t work.”
I am intrigued by memory, and baffled by it as well. Why do we remember what we do? Do we forget, or do we simply fail to recall?
If I remember correctly, it was the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche who said that forgetfulness has never been proven, that all we are certain of is the inability to recall.
My favorite story of forgetfulness comes from the Bible, and it is a familiar one. The brothers of Joseph sell him into slavery into Egypt after deciding not to kill him. Under God’s hand, Joseph prospers in Pharaoh’s court. He marries and names his first son Manasseh from a Hebrew word meaning “forget.” Why that name? “Because,” says Joseph, “God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household.”
But did Joseph really forget? No, he did not. His later dealings with his brothers reveal that Joseph remembered everything. Instead of forgetting the offenses against him, he forgave his brothers. He did not develop amnesia. He remembered what his brothers did to him. But he no longer held it against them.
Most days, I would prefer that memory be completely selective and recall totally voluntary. I would remember what I wanted to remember when I wanted to remember it. Not so. We live with the remembrance of things said and done that were wrong. In that way, Jill Price is no different from the rest of us, except that she can remember more than most of us.
Like her, we must learn to live with our memories. For the good ones, we should give thanks. For the bad ones, we can find forgiveness if not forgetfulness. Forgiveness is far better than forgetfulness.