My wife Anne and I have now raised three daughters, sent them all to Anderson University, where they graduated, and have seen them marry. Raising children is a challenge, adventure and blessing. It is also expensive. Sending children to college is the same, except during the college years young people move out from under their parents’ control. Parents still have influence, but that influence is only as good as the relationship that has been established with their children.
Rudy GrayWe have been blessed. Psalm 127:3-5 says, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”
Our quiver was full with three. Daughters would not have been regarded as valuable as sons in the earlier years of civilization. In our case, we were more blessed because we had daughters. Anne was somewhat concerned that I might do great bodily damage to boys if we had been given sons! As it is, she thinks the girls had me wrapped around their fingers. That is a claim I deny to this day, except when one of them needs something.
We love our girls and always will, but our days of parenting are over. We, like many of you, now live in the time of using our influence wisely. We are now empty nesters. We are busy, our children live fairly close, and we have some plans. So this time is not a sad time, just a time of transition.
Our plans do not include exotic trips. (Did I mention that raising three daughters, sending them to college, and paying for three weddings is expensive?) So far we have traded cars, bought a new riding mower, and are beginning a house renovation. Our trips include the Southern Baptist Convention, a week of study at the Cove in North Carolina, and a week at the beach. Then, my wife will go back to school and we will get back into the routine we have followed for many years now.
Since I do counseling, I have been asked, What can you do with the empty nest years? It is a time when too many marriages fail. It can also be a time to renew the marriage relationship and prayerfully plan together for the future. By some people’s standards, our lives may not sound too exciting, but for us – we know we are blessed and we really want to be a blessing to someone else in the days ahead. Our family is different today, and that is good. The sense of family ties extends to the next generation and, we pray, beyond. It is a great, God-given time.
If 50 is the new 40, then the empty nest years are the time for a second, more seasoned marriage stage. May God empower us all to live for his glory and honor in whatever stage of life we are living or whatever circumstances may surround us.