Seth Buckley, minister to students at Spartanburg First Baptist Church for 14 years, has been using LifeWay Christian Resources’ “True Love Waits” materials since the program began in 1993.
In April 2009, Buckley was one of 12 youth ministers from across the country invited to take part in a summit to consider the future of True Love Waits. (See related story.)
Seth Buckley (center) and members of the Spartanburg First Baptist Church youth group lead in worship during a recent “Crossfire” service.In response, LifeWay will launch “True Love Waits 3.0: A Path to Purity” at the National Youth Workers Conference in September. Buckley will be a presenter at the conference – interviewing a student who committed to True Love Waits seven years ago.
The Courier asked Buckley, whose youth group averages more than 370, to share his thoughts on True Love Waits.
Courier: What was your introduction to True Love Waits?
Buckley: I was actually present on the night it was introduced in April of 1993 at the National Youth Workers Conference in front of 1,300 youth ministers, and the place went crazy – a standing ovation for almost 10 minutes for the 72 young people who signed the first TLW cards in the pilot program.
What are the main tenants of TLW?
The main tenants are to present to students the challenge of honoring God in every aspect of their lives and committing themselves to a lifestyle of purity that includes sexual abstinence before marriage and developing healthy dating standards. It also encourages the importance of developing accountable relationships centered around God’s word and building a strong support network at home. [It’s also about] finding your self-worth in your relationship with God rather than in relationships with other people.
How would you assess TLW’s impact?
The standards presented in TLW really spark conversation and interest because it seems like [abstinence] is an unattainable goal from culture’s viewpoint. It is a wonderful thing to be at a rehearsal dinner and to hear the groom share with the bride, “I loved you before I ever knew you, and I saved myself just for you,” and vice versa.
How big a problem is sexual abstinence for teens? What other pressures do they face?
Two of the most pervasive issues we see in youth ministry today are the rampant use of alcohol and promiscuity among teens. The issues of sex and alcohol are merely the outward expression of deeper issues that teens deal with. Rather than focusing on behavior modification, the TLW program is centered around a heart change that will then impact a life of change. That is different from a “just say no” program. When you say yes to Jesus and his plan, he guides you in the things that you say no to. It begins by saying yes to him and obeying his word.
How open are teens to talking about sexual abstinence?
Pretty open, actually. They all know that [abstinence] is the standard to shoot for. They are just hearing about other students “testing the waters,” and they wonder sometimes what they might be missing out on. But there are a large number of students who have responded and are championing the cause of “God’s Plan Works!”
How do you start a conversation about abstinence? At what age are children ready to hear the message? How soon should parents start talking with their kids about it?
I think that the launch point is talking about what it means to love God with all of your heart, and what sneaks in there to steal away that love – what happens when we love ourselves more than we love God – we pursue instant gratification. I think parents should begin when their children are in elementary school talking to them about appropriate things to look at and so on, about how you should always respect other children. And then, over time, the discussion may go a little deeper. By 5th and 6th grade, parents should already be talking with their child about development and what is happening to their bodies. Children will be indoctrinated by TV, and it is much better for the source to be their parents.
How can TLW remain effective for future generations?
Again, the message is about purity and about pursuing God with all your heart. True love waits on God’s plan – that message is timeless. I think it is all about how we present it. It’s not just about sexual abstinence – which, unfortunately, is what some people think. It is about developing a lifelong commitment to honoring God by waiting on his plan for your life rather than rushing in to pursue instant gratification. That principal is applied to all of areas of our lives.
What can churches without organized youth programs do to help encourage abstinence?
Be intentional – there must be a time each year where the focus of purity is presented to the youth. If it is not presented by the church, then who will do that? If it comes across as “same old same old,” that is the presenter’s fault, not the Bible’s fault. We must understand that youth today need to be challenged to live a life that is set apart. God called us to “be holy, for I am holy.” For some reason, there is a growing trend to dumb down this message so that more people can be involved. If anything, we need to ramp this message up. I am just narrow-minded enough to believe that if we lift up Jesus and his truth without compromise, he will draw people to himself.