On New Year’s Day, I spoke at my dad’s funeral. He lived 84 years as a fiercely independent person. He refused to leave his little farm and house. He lived on his land except for the last four weeks of his life. At his funeral, I simply wanted to honor him – as Scripture exhorts children to do, I believe, at any age. I felt gratitude for all he had done for me and comfort in the fact that he knew Jesus as Savior. I loved my dad.
Rudy GrayI had been concerned about my dad’s spiritual condition for many years. He was “saved” and baptized in a stream. He was a member of a Baptist church. He grew up in a godly home. But he never talked about spiritual things directly. He would not discuss such things with me, although he would listen to me. He did, however, talk about spiritual matters with my cousin Jerry Gray, pastor of First Baptist Church, Iva, whose words were of great comfort at the funeral.
My dad had Alzheimer’s, and the dementia moved rapidly. My mother has had Alzheimer’s for a few years now. My mother-in-law has had it for even longer. My grandmother had Alzheimer’s. It is a sad disease, and it takes its toll on both patient and caregiver. It is a frustrating and challenging illness.
This particular disease seems to be growing in our population. People are being diagnosed with it at younger ages than in years past. I have read stories of Alzheimer’s patients who were giants in the faith and yet began to speak and behave in ways that were so unlike them. We all have heard of famous people who lived their final years with this disease: Gov. Carroll Campbell, President Ronald Reagan, actor Charlton Heston, and many others.
What happens when a person’s mind can no longer function with reason or clarity – when they cannot remember what happened yesterday but can recall events of 50 years ago, or when they see people and things that are not there?
For all of you with loved ones who suffer from this disease, let me encourage you that a person is saved by grace through faith. It is the work of God from start to finish. We do not save ourselves, and we do not keep ourselves saved. God does! God is faithful even when we are unfaithful.
Our wonderful Savior and Lord walks with both patient and caregiver in the valley of the shadow of death, which, I believe, is not limited to death itself but any dangerous, threatening or difficult time in life. Grieving for Alzheimer’s patients often starts before they die, because grief at its core is the sad feeling of loss. They lose more than just memory. Those who love them also lose important connections to them. Sometimes they may not recognize you. Others stop talking altogether. Some can become very agitated. God’s grace is sufficient for Alzheimer’s patients and for us who love them. God knows, and it is enough to know that He knows and cares.
Life always moves on. We do not know what a day may bring forth, but we can know the Lord who rules over yesterday, today and forever. We may not have answers for many of life’s mysteries. But we can know that whatever we walk through as believers, He walks with us.