The renewal in January of the Minister/Spouse Breakaway sponsored by Kershaw Association is one man’s answer to the question: Who cares for the carer?
Jimmy Hanf, director of missions in Kershaw, launched the weekend retreat in Myrtle Beach for ministers and spouses in much need of a few days of rest and relaxation to recharge their batteries and re-engage in the ministries to which they have been called.
KirklandIt is a time for spiritual renewal as well. Ministers involved in the breakaway encourage each other in shared devotions, in breakout sessions and through worship experiences.
The 2012 event (see story here) is set for Jan. 19-21 in Myrtle Beach. For ministers and their families (but no children are allowed at this event) caught up in and worn out by the activities of the holiday season, the timing is inspired.
The impetus for the three-day getaway came from the request of pastors in the Kershaw Association who formerly sought a boost for body and soul through the annual Shepherding the Shepherd Conferences sponsored each year by the South Carolina Baptist Convention. Budget cuts brought an end to these conferences after 12 years or so.
A three-day getaway in Myrtle Beach may not be the cure-all for ministerial burnout. Perhaps, though, it could lead to altered lifestyles once the ministers and their spouses see the benefits of disengaging periodically from the demands of ministry.
A New York Times article last year indicated that 40 percent of pastors and 47 percent of spouses suffer from burnout, frantic schedules and/or unrealistic expectations.
Thirty-three percent of those surveyed felt burned out within their first five years of ministry, and the same percentage admitted that being in ministry was an outright hazard to their family.
Forty-five percent of pastors’ wives said the greatest danger to them and their families was physical, emotional, mental and spiritual burnout. The same percentage of pastors reported that they had experienced depression or burnout to the extent that they needed to take a leave of absence from the ministry.
The majority of ministers surveyed – 57 percent of them – said they would leave the pastorate if they had somewhere else to go or some other vocation they could do.
This may not be the prevailing condition of ministers and their spouses in the South Carolina Baptist Convention, but it is reasonable to believe that it is typical enough of our state’s ministers and their spouses to cause concern and, in the case of Kershaw Association, to take action for the benefit of the ministers and their families, and for the churches they serve.
When their own physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being is involved – and probably at risk – what most ministers know does not translate into what they do. This poses their greatest problem.
The life and example of Jesus still, after more than 2,000 years, remains a model for ministry in our own world. In the first chapter of the gospel of Mark, Jesus shows all who would look and learn how to minister in changing times for him and for us.
Jesus had his own coping mechanisms. Far better than most ministers today, he knew how and when he should relax and retreat – and when to engage, and even confront. The life of our Lord reflected an often delicate but necessary balance between doing and being, between withdrawing and engaging, between busyness and prayer in the quiet of the day or evening.
Our Lord understood all about stress and conflict – with the Pharisees and their abuses of the law, with the disciples in their stubbornness and spiritual blindness, and with Satan when temptation to give in grew strong.
Jesus was the master of timing; he knew when he had to withdraw from the crowds who certainly needed him to spend time with his Heavenly Father, whom he needed to regain his strength to continue the ministry to which he was called.
Sally Magnusson has written of Eric Liddell, the primary figure in “Chariots of Fire”: “He seemed to get his strength and self-discipline and his air of quiet serenity from his early morning sessions of prayer, meditation and Bible study. He would come out from that and stride through the rest of the day. Whatever it was that he received from those morning sessions, he spent the rest of the day giving it out to others.”
A three-day retreat to Myrtle Beach in January may not make a new man of your pastor and his wife. It may, however, help them to better understand their own need for renewing their spiritual and physical reserves. And if that prompts them to care for themselves better, it will pay benefits to the flocks they are shepherding.
The Minister/Spouse Breakaway in January would be an ideal time and a meaningful way for churches to show care for the carers by offering them this chance for a brief getaway. In the first breakaway last January, just about all of the couples enjoyed the retreat at the expense of the church, with some extra contributed by the deacons to pay for a date night for their minister and his spouse.
It would be a small investment with a big return. It is a good deal all around.