Editor’s note: This is the first in a three-part series dealing with suicide, pastoral termination, and pastoral burnout. On Oct. 9, in light of high rates of suicide and forced terminations among South Carolina pastors, the Executive Board of the South Carolina Baptist Convention created a special committee to research causes contributing to negative health among pastors and to explore ways to help. (To read the other articles in this series, click here.)
Suicide is something we do not like to think about. Talking about the subject is even less appealing for most people. However, it is a reality that is painfully present in our modern culture.
A person contemplating suicide is in a crisis. If we do nothing more than show concern, sometimes that can be enough to stop a terrible mistake.In our state convention, we have had seven pastors commit suicide in seven years. Suicide affects all kinds of people. Often, pastors and church staff ministers feel they have nowhere to turn and no one with whom they can share disturbing thoughts and feelings. Some ministers feel they must live a double life. Others are stressed out or burned out.
The 11th-most common cause of death in this country is suicide. Homicide ranks 14th. Some estimates show that as many as 5 million living Americans have attempted suicide. According to the American Federation for Suicide Prevention, about 734,000 people attempt suicide each year. Almost 39,000 succeed. Each suicide affects at least six other people.
Statistics are not always consistent when it comes to this sensitive subject. According to Christian counselor Norm Wright, 10 percent of people who commit suicide do so for no apparent reason; 25 percent are mentally unstable (at least at the time of the suicide); 40 percent commit suicide on impulse; and 25 percent commit suicide after thinking it through. About 80 percent of those who commit suicide give some type of sign that suicide was in their plans, thoughts, or feelings.
Men, we are told, are four times more likely to commit suicide than women.
It seems that what we don’t know about suicide may exceed what we actually know about it. While there is most often no way of knowing exactly what a person was thinking before they took their life, we do know suicide is a tragic exit from this life.
The federal government allocated $55.6 million in grants for suicide prevention programs in 2012. The rate of suicide in the United States has been increasing since 2000. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for those 15-24 and the fourth-leading cause for those between the ages of 25-44.
Gary Collins, in his book, “Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide,” lists several signs that may indicate suicidal thinking in a person:
– Talk of suicide;
– Evidence of a realistic plan of action for killing oneself;
– Knowledge regarding the most effective ways to do it (guns, carbon monoxide, wrist slashing, drugs, etc.);
– Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness;
– Guilt feelings;
– Environmental stresses (job loss, divorce, death in the family, etc.);
– An inability to cope with stress;
– Excessive concern about physical illness;
– Preoccupation with insomnia;
– Evidence of depression, disorientation, and/or defiance;
– A tendency to be dependent and dissatisfied at the same time;
– A sudden and unexplainable shift to a happy, cheerful mood (which often means the decision to attempt suicide has been made);
– A history of prior suicide attempts.
One of the myths about suicide is that it runs in families. However, suicidal thinking is not genetic, and it is also different from depression. Depression may be involved in suicide attempts, but it is not the sole reason influencing most suicidal people. Most people who are depressed are not suicidal.
There are some suicides recorded in Scripture: Abimelech (Judges 9), Samson (Judges 16), Saul (1 Samuel 31), Saul’s armor bearer (1 Chronicles 10), Ahithopel (2 Samuel 17), Zimri (1 Kings 16) and Judas Iscariot (Matthew 27).
If we are involved in any type of Christian helping ministry, we must be sensitive to the situation surrounding a potential suicide. If we can provide positive and helpful intervention, we must act. If a suicide has already taken place, we must be God’s instrument to comfort people who grieve without controlling or pushing them.
How can we help people who we suspect may be suicidal? Apart from referring them to a trained professional, we can listen carefully to their story. We can ask questions and build a bridge of trust and caring. Time can become our friend if we can continue to engage them and help them to discover the primary issue at the root of this type of thinking.
Suicide is a tragic mistake. It is an exit from this life that is final. It affects other lives. All of us should take threats of suicide seriously. Some who threaten suicide are suicidal. Others are signaling a cry for help. In either case, we are dealing with a volatile situation that requires wisdom from heaven. Even highly trained counselors can miss the signs or be fooled by the person contemplating suicide.
When we are dealing with a person we feel is suicidal, we should provide the best kind of help in the most effective way possible. Our source of strength is God’s Spirit, and our concern should be for the suicidal person in his or her time of trouble. A person contemplating suicide is in a crisis. In a time of crisis, the main objective is to get some type of balance. We may not be professionals, but if we cannot do anything more than show concern, sometimes that can be enough to stop a terrible mistake.
There is some good news in the midst of the reality of rising suicides in our country. A person who is suicidal does not have to remain suicidal or even commit suicide. There is hope. When hope becomes real in a person’s thinking, positive and healthy change is possible.
Church members can help their ministers by accepting, appreciating, and encouraging them. According to some new research by Ed Stetzer, 98 percent of pastors consider it a privilege to be a pastor. However, 55 percent of pastors find that it is easy to get discouraged and feel lonely at times.
Encouragement is one of the wonderful dynamics of congregational life that is too often missing in our lives today. Remember Hebrews 11:24-25: “Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, nor forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”
God’s people are counseled to encourage each other. Encouragement can inspire courage in a person. It often takes courage to share personal feelings and troubling thoughts with another person. An encourager can be God’s tool for good. Encouragement can help a person open up, gain confidence, and live better. We all need encouragement – especially God’s servants.