A sports team was in the middle of a terrible losing streak when the manager called a meeting and said, “There will be two buses leaving the hotel for the ballpark tomorrow. The two o’clock bus is for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus leaves at five o’clock.” In other words, everyone on the team needed a little extra work. Men also need to put in some extra effort, especially in the area of relationships.

It’s not hard to find evidence that men have some shortcomings. Recently, without even trying very hard, I found three telling examples in the news. The first example was about a basketball coach who admitted to being “a little bit too focused.” He said that when his young son was 3 years old, he took him to the barbershop so they could both get a haircut. While the coach was getting his haircut, he started focusing on a ball game on TV, and he continued to think about it as he went home. Two hours later, his wife came home and asked, “Where’s Jeff?” Just then the barbershop called to say, “Jeff’s read all the comic books that are here, and we’re about to close. What should we do with him?” The coach realized he had left his son at the barbershop.

Then consider the 78-year-old man in Key West, Fla., who thought his roommate was just being stubborn by refusing to answer him. It turned out his roommate had been dead for two months.

A third example is about little Matthew Murray, who took the ride of his life. His daddy put Matthew in the car seat and placed the car seat on top of the car. Then Matthew’s dad got into the car and took off. At 50 miles-per-hour, he saw a diaper go up in the air, and then he saw the car seat, with Matthew in it, fly through the air. Fortunately, the baby landed right side up in the median, and when his dad got to him, Matthew was smiling. Needless to say, God puts extra angels on duty when men are taking care of children.

That’s the way men are. They focus on what they are doing and forget everything around them, especially relationships. When men my age were growing up, our hero was John Wayne. He said only two words: “Yep” and “Nope.” That’s all he said, and if talking didn’t take care of the problem, then he would fight ’em or shoot ’em. He was our hero, and we follow his trail. We’re like the man who told his buddy, “I had words with my wife; she had paragraphs with me.”

Most men want to be close to a woman who will leave them alone. But a woman’s heart is like a campfire. If you don’t tend to it regularly, you’ll soon lose it. It is a constant battle of balance. For example, women want romance. Romance is the opposite of practical. Women think roses. Men think, “Why invest in something that will be dead in four days?” It’s not the flowers women love; it’s the feelings they love when they receive flowers from someone they love. The flowers will die, but the feelings of love will live on, and that is worth your investment.

The concept of Valentine’s Day is difficult, if not impossible, for men to grasp. I was speaking at a Valentine’s banquet for which the women had gone to a lot of trouble to create the right atmosphere. They decorated the gym and renamed it the “Love Café.” It was romantic with music and candlelight. I listened to the comments from the men at the tables. They were saying things like, “I can’t see my peas.” “It’s so dark in here, I don’t know what I’m eating.”

Guys, we have to think differently. “Royal dining” is not eating at Dairy Queen or Burger King. And she doesn’t want a new set of tires for her birthday. Let me give you some hints: assurance instead of answers, sympathy instead of solutions, and perfume instead of kitchen appliances.

For the guy who said, “I don’t know what to get her for Valentine’s this year — she hasn’t used the floor sander I got her last year,” look for the two o’clock bus. Believe me: You need the work.

— Charles Lowery is president and CEO of Lowery Institute for Excellence, Inc., a non-profit training and consulting organization. This article was adapted from his book, “Comic Belief.” For more information, visit CharlesLowery.com.