How many of you get too much encouragement? Do people tell you how wonderful you are everywhere you go? When you get to work, does everyone stop and clap for you? When you arrive home, do you get a standing ovation? Do your kids carry pictures of you in their wallets and show them to everyone, saying, “These are my parents. Aren’t they wonderful?” As a matter of fact, all of us need encouragement. A good rule to remember is that if people are breathing, they need some encouragement.
Most of us probably feel like the traveling salesman who once walked into a restaurant and said to the waitress, “Bring me some burnt toast, watered-down scrambled eggs, and some weak, cold coffee.” The waitress said, with some doubt, “Yeah, sure. What else would you like?” “Just sit across from me,” the man pleaded, “and nag me. I’m terribly homesick.”
Unfortunately, sometimes we’re not homesick but here-sick. A little boy was at summer camp, and one of the counselors saw him sitting on his cot looking very despondent. He said, “What’s the matter, Billy? Are you homesick?” Billy answered, “No, I’m here-sick.” Homesick or here-sick — the cure is encouragement.
On some days life throws you a fastball, and you don’t even have on a glove. But no matter how well or how poorly you’re doing, no one suffers from too much encouragement. People need encouragement when they least deserve it.
In the play, “A Raisin in the Sun,” there’s a scene where Walter has lost all of the family’s savings, which were intended to make their dream come true. Now their dream has dried up like “a raisin in the sun.” Beneatha is so disgusted with her brother that she says, “There ain’t nuthin’ left to love.” In a climactic, emotion-filled moment, Mama puts her hands on her daughter’s shoulders, looks her directly in the eyes, and says: “Child, when do you think is the time to love somebody the most — when they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well, then, you ain’t through learning — because that ain’t the time at all. It’s when he’s at his lowest and can’t believe in hisself ’cause the world done whipped him so.”
Not giving up on people keeps them from giving up. Jackie Robinson rose through the ranks of the Negro baseball league to become the first black Major League baseball player. The first year in the league was a horrible year for him. All across the country, people yelled racial slurs and insults at him. He said the turning point of his life was in Cincinnati, the hometown of Pee Wee Reese, the famous Dodgers shortstop. The fans were hurling insults at Jackie Robinson and calling him names when, during a delay of the game, Pee Wee Reese walked over and put his arm around Jackie Robinson and just stood there for a moment for the entire world to see. Pee Wee Reese was saying, “He’s my teammate. He’s in my family. He’s part of me.” From then on, Jackie Robinson said that he knew he would be able to make it.
One of the more obscure exhibits in the Smithsonian Institution is a display of the personal effects found on Abraham Lincoln the night he was shot. They include a small handkerchief embroidered “A. Lincoln,” a country boy’s pen knife, a spectacle case repaired with cotton string, a Confederate five-dollar bill, and a worn-out newspaper clipping extolling his accomplishments as president. It begins, “Abe Lincoln is one of the greatest statesmen of all time.” Why would our nation’s 16th president carry around a clipping like that? History remembers Lincoln as a folk hero and a president’s president. Was Lincoln an egomaniac? Hardly. When Lincoln was president, he wasn’t as popular as he became after his death. The nation was bitterly divided, and Lincoln’s leadership was constantly threatened. He was the object of a critical press. So Abraham Lincoln needed something in his pocket to remind him that his critics were not his only observers. He carried an icon of affirmation, something that reminded him that someone believed in him.
Encourage people by telling them how much you believe in them. Find someone who is breathing, and offer a word of encouragement. She might not carry a picture of you in her wallet, but I suspect she will carry a snapshot of you in her heart.
— Charles Lowery is president and CEO of Lowery Institute for Excellence, Inc., a non-profit training and consulting organization. This article was adapted from his book, “Comic Belief.” For more information, visit CharlesLowery.com.