When dads are not present and involved with their children, the negative consequences touch nearly every level of society. Speaking to fathers and their responsibility to disciple their children, Deuteronomy 6:7 says: “You shall teach [God’s truths] diligently to your sons and talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” That principle of Scripture cannot be obeyed if a father is absent.
We have a crisis in this country and in many parts of the world: father absence. It continues to reap devastating results. Even liberal thinkers and secularists have noted this big problem. David Blankenhorn, who has been referred to as one of America’s most liberal thinkers regarding family issues, said in 1995 that the crisis of absent fathers was “the most destructive trend of our generation.” The trend he spoke of in 1995 is worse today.
Edward Kruk wrote in Psychology Today about the “devastating effects of father absence in children’s lives.”
Isabel V. Sawhill, in an article entitled, “Are Children Raised with Absent Fathers Worse Off?” stated, “Children raised by single mothers are more likely to fare worse on a number of dimensions, including their school achievement, their social and emotional development, their health and their success in the labor market. They are at greater risk of parental abuse and neglect (especially from live-in boyfriends who are not their biological fathers), more likely to become teen parents and less likely to graduate from high school or college. Not all children raised in single parent families suffer these adverse outcomes; it is simply that the risks are greater for them.”
She concluded her article by stating that “children who end up in a single-parent family as the result of the death of one parent do not have the same poor outcomes as children raised by single parents due to a divorce or out-of-wedlock birth.”
Incarceration is obviously a reason for father absence, and nearly 2 million children in this country have a parent (93 percent of them fathers) in prison. However, while that is a point of concern, the more pressing issue is dads who choose to be absent from their children or who stay in the home but have little to no time for their children.
According to the “Father Code,” the effects of emotionally uninvolved fathers are almost identical to those who are physically absent from the home. The old adage is still true today: Kids spell love “T-I-M-E.” James Dobson has repeatedly emphasized how important it is for a dad to be present and involved in raising both sons and daughters.
One of my sons-in-law recently declined a job promotion because it meant moving away and spending less time with his wife and children. His comment was on target: “My family is more important than my job.”
Praise God for all the dads who make the sacrifice and effort to be present and involved in their children’s lives. Again and again, in both Christian and secular literature, it is stressed that a child needs both Mom and Dad in his or her life.
I am keenly aware that there are unusual situations or circumstances that prevent one or both parents from being present in a child’s life. If that situation is permanent, the church can be a vital force of help and security for children by showing compassion, involvement, and a consistent presence in a child’s life. James 1:27 says: “This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”
What about children who are fatherless through no fault of their own? Psalm 10:14 says that God helps the orphan. Psalm 82:3 says: “Vindicate the weak and fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and destitute.”
Children need parents, caregivers, and role models. There is no substitute for the loving presence of dads. It shows they care. There is no excuse for their willing absence.