For many of us the arrival of a new school year brings the reality of a schedule packed to the brim with activities. The mom and dad taxi is in constant motion, and dinner is often out of a bag on the way to one practice or another. It can be difficult to manage everyone’s schedule and still prioritize family and church. It is possible, but you have to be intentional about your relationship with Christ and each other. We asked Christian parents how they make it all work.

Adam Siskey, father of four and middle grades pastor at Anderson Mill Road Baptist Church in Spartanburg County, reminds parents to take a long-range view, even when making short-term plans. “Really look at where you want your children to be at age 19 or 20,” he said. “Structure your weekly time so that you get to that point. Make sure that you aren’t spending so much time on recreation that you never spend any time at home.” Siskey points out that even church can contribute to a buffet of busyness. “At our church, we offer three different times for families to be involved,” he said. “You don’t have to go to all three to be healthy”.

Siskey does prioritize Sunday morning family worship. “It is essential,” he said.

Today’s sports and activity culture can make going to Sunday morning worship a challenge. “To even have a chance to play on a high school sports team, kids have to play travel ball,” said Spartanburg mom of three Julie Finley. “We are sometimes gone on the weekends, but we are in church anytime we are not traveling. Even if we are gone on a Sunday morning, we are back for Discipleship group on Sunday evening.” For the Finley family, their relationship with Christ is first priority. “It is not just about Sunday morning,” she said. “We worship every day, whether it is on the way to the ball field or on the way to church. It goes back to your walk with Jesus. He will direct your path. We pray that God will let us know when it is too much.”

Mom of two, Maria Bates of Roebuck, said that her family also was faced with the choice between a sport or activity and attending Sunday morning church. “We did have to miss occasionally,” she said. “There were times when we would return from a trip on Saturday evening, in order to be back for Sunday morning worship and other times when we would split up and one of us would stay at the competition and the other would come back for morning worship.”

Siskey reminds parents that the bulk of a child’s spiritual training occurs at home. He recommends that families carve out time for family devotion. “Sometimes when people think about a family devotion, it is really intimidating,” he said. “They picture Mom and Dad sitting around with a guitar, singing, followed by a 20-minute lesson. In my family, it isn’t anything close to that. We read a Bible story, ask one or two questions and then give one of the children a chance to pray.” Finley agrees. Her family learns Scripture together so that they can remember God’s promises in times of stress.

The intensity of children’s activities can quickly cut into family time, if we aren’t careful. Siskey limits his children to one school sport or activity per year. Activity doesn’t have to negatively impact the family though. With intentionality, activities can augment family time. When the Bates children were in high school, both were heavily involved in school activities. “When we traveled (for one child’s activity), we really tried to make it a family time,” she said. “Whether it was time spent goofing off in the hotel room, or sitting together in a restaurant, we made it family time.”

They found that sharing one another’s accomplishments really helped to draw the family closer. “When our son was younger, he rolled his eyes a little at having to go to his sister’s concerts, but over time he developed an appreciation for what she was doing and began to connect the dots and see that hard work really pays off,” Bates said. “Seeing her work at what she loved inspired him to work harder at soccer.” Bates would remind the siblings to call each other and celebrate accomplishments or commiserate after a hard day.

While some families find that technology can distract from family bonding, the Bates family uses it as a means to stay connected. “When we cannot be together physically, we send pictures and comment back and forth.”

The family stays grounded in their use of technology with a family joke. “When the kids were little, there was a Sesame Street song called ‘Put Down the Duckie,’ ” she said. “It was about putting down a comfort item to do something that is fun. So quite frequently, [my husband] Randy will remind us to ‘put down the duckie,’ meaning put down the phone!”

Another way that families stay close is through shared meals. Siskey said that his family aims for at least two to three times per week, but admits that it takes planning to make that happen. “My wife and I sit down and map out our week and plan which nights we will be together,” he said. “It might mean picking up Bojangles, but the important thing is that we are together.”

Finley also tries to make sure her family eats together regularly. “I use my Crock-Pot, and we do eat leftovers,” she said. “I also find that family meals are easier if I don’t stress about cleaning the kitchen. Sometimes dishes in the sink have to wait until the next morning!”

Finley also uses time away from school to reconnect as a family. “We always travel over spring break,” she said. “Usually it is an educational trip like Gettysburg or Hershey. We go to the beach for a few days every summer and on a snow-skiing trip in the winter.”

While these breaks are important, it is the day-to-day togetherness that keeps the family connected. “Up until the kids began driving, I was taking them back and forth to practices,” Finley said. “All of that time in the car provided a lot of opportunity for talking!”

It is important to carve out leisure time to spend with one another. Sometimes that means saying no to something. “If you say that you are staying home on a Saturday night for family time, you child might frown or make a face, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t what they want or what they need,” said Siskey.

— Jennifer Weaver is a wife and mom living in Spartanburg. She writes for Upstate Parent Magazine and TALK Greenville.