Every church has a few. When we see them we think of that little “Family of God” chorus but change the words to, “I’m surprised you’re a part of the family of God.”
God made them fearfully and wonderfully weird. They have the amazing ability to suck the joy right out of the ministry. They’re a few French fries short of a Happy Meal; they’re missing a few buttons on the remote. You know what I mean. The porch light is on but no one is home.
They even look a little funny. They must shop at “Nerds-R-Us.” There is always something unbuttoned, undone, unzipped or untucked. When I see them I want to ask, “Where are Mo, Larry and Curly?”
They seem so inappropriate at times. They are usually standing when they are supposed to be sitting or talking when they are supposed to be quiet. They aren’t cool, quick or articulate like us. They aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.
They wait until everyone is gone and never give up because they want to talk to you. They probably want to hug you. And there is always one who zeroes in on you; you are his hero, his idol and the person he wants to spend as much time with as he can.
They are there after every service, waiting to tell you things you already know. Don’t they remember they have already told you twice? They act as if just telling you will get them through. They irritate you, and you mumble under your breath when you see them coming. You try to avoid them. If they come down the center, you head for the right side. You develop plays to get around them, even find blockers to make sure your play works.
Let’s be honest: Sometimes you’re just rude. You blow them off because your time is too valuable. You know they are hurt, but you do it anyway. You say something that cuts them off, or you embarrass them with your quick wit, and it hurts but it works. Now you’re free to do what important people like you do.
A friend of mine told me about someone named Bob who drove him crazy. My friend was grumbling about Bob under his breath, and God was listening. That night everything changed because God spoke to him as clearly as He had ever spoken to him before.
God said, “You know that person, Bob, who is a little slow and never quite gets things right? The one you avoid at all costs? Well, I want you to remember something: Compared to Me, you are not the sharpest knife in the drawer, either, and you don’t get things quite right most of the time. So next time Bob starts to bug you, remember: You’re My Bob.”