When you got up this morning, was the bird singing outside your window a buzzard? Did you put your pants on backwards and they fit better? Did you wake up to discover that your waterbed had leaked and then realized you don’t have a waterbed? You may be tempted to have a pity party and invite only yourself so that you get all the pity and all the refreshments (four or five Snickers). I want to tell you it isn’t as bad as you think. Listen to what happened to Mr. Jones.

One day, Mrs. Jones decided to get rid of some bad hairspray that she had. She decided that a good way to get rid of it would be to spray it into the commode. Shortly afterwards, her husband, Mr. Jones, came home. As was his usual custom, he went to the “reading room” (bathroom) to relax. As soon as he was comfortably seated, he lit a cigarette and tossed the match between his legs into the commode. You guessed it! The hairspray exploded and blew Mr. Jones heavenward (or sideward).