During the Depression, churches struggled for support, since so many people were out of work.
One Sunday, a pastor decided on a new approach. Whoever contributed the most could select the hymns. The winner was a single lady who immediately stood, pointed her finger and said, “I want him, him, and him.” Many jokes are made about singles wanting to get married. One single guy picked up the phone and said, “Yes, I’ll marry you. Who is this?”
One lady was so upset about men not taking her out that her will stated she would have all female pallbearers. When asked why, she said that men didn’t take her out when she was alive and they weren’t going to take her out when she was dead.
Which leads us to the single girls’ Bible verse: “If any man come after me, let him.” However, there was one single girl. Her name was Lotta Williams, and she loved Bill Bottom. She wouldn’t marry him — her name would be Lotta Bottom.
We think the key to a great marriage is finding the right person. We all grew up with Cinderella, who thought that one day Prince Charming would ride in and offer her his castle. “Cinderfella’s” fantasy is that a beautiful lady will show up and offer to clean his castle. Of course, after reality sets in, we realize that Prince Charming is a toad, and Cinderella is a nag. The problem is that when we find Mr. Right, his first name may be Always.
When I was practicing psychology, I had a 4 p.m. appointment I will never forget. The man said, “Oh, if I could only find a wife — someone that I could share my life with. If I find her, I will be happy forever.” My 5 p.m. appointment was a man wanting to get rid of his wife. She was driving him nuts, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. He was miserable living with her. Without thinking, I almost said, “There is a guy who just left. I bet you can make him a deal.”
There are as many miserable married people as there are singles. One lady told me that if man is God’s gift to women, then God believes in gag gifts.
One man said that he was two-thirds married. He was ready, the preacher was ready, and all he needed was to get the girl ready. I’m not saying don’t look for the right person with whom to spend your life. Just don’t panic over it.
Just because you have kissed 50 frogs, the chances of finding a prince will not necessarily increase. Certain places have an abundant supply of frogs.
A high percentage of singles go to bars to meet people. They call it the happy hour, but no one appears to be happy. I figure only ugly people go there because the lights are always dim. How realistic is it when a guy asks you if he can buy you a drink? Is that the way the world operates? Does anyone in Walmart ask you if he can buy you a blender? Singles bars are like the circus — the only difference is that at the bars the clowns talk.
Some singles are so gullible they can get hooked on placebos. If the lights were brightened in the bars, the woman would probably see that the man is twice her age and looks like he is in a prison release program. On top of that, he is already married or he refers to his wife as the plaintiff.
Try places that have the lights on and serve drinks that won’t make you fall down. Go to places that build you up. Look for someone with the same value system. I asked one couple that was getting married what they had in common. They said they both loved snow skiing. I don’t know if there are enough ski days in a year to keep them together, especially if they are transferred to Florida.
It might be better to concentrate on being the right person rather than finding the right person. Get in shape physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Enjoy your freedom. Roommates are easy to find. Finding a soul mate may take some time. Remember that being single for a reason is much better than being married for a season.