An interviewee for a job at a famous art gallery was asked, “If you could save one picture from fire, which piece would it be?” He answered, “I’d save the piece closest to the exit.” That is how we think — often just of ourselves. Singular thinking makes it difficult to walk together. Churches can be like going to a fight and a hockey game breaks out. We don’t have the unity of the Christ.

As a psychologist, many times I met with men who had been married for around five years and wanted a divorce. They thought they were incompatible with their wives. But incompatibility is what attracted them in the first place. Her strengths countered his weaknesses. We are all, in a sense, incompatible.