Dysfunction from generation to generation is usually fueled by family secrets. Our secrets can become our sickness. Some are trivial. I asked a friend why he was getting married. He told me that he was tired of holding in his stomach. His new wife may find that her prize package is a surprise package. I have discovered that many times in life the difference between happiness and unhappiness is whether you cover up or speak up.
A little boy and his sister spent the summers with their grandmother. They loved to go to Grandma’s, whose home had open fields to roam and play and delicious homemade biscuits. You know, that generation of grandmas who cooked biscuits. This generation’s grandmas make reservations. Billy’s birthday had brought a brand-new slingshot, and he couldn’t wait to get to the country to practice shooting trees and cans with that slingshot. Billy was practicing one day, and Grandma’s prize rooster just pranced by. Billy wondered how closely he could get to Grandma’s rooster with his slingshot. He pulled that sling back and aimed just above the rooster’s head — but as soon as the rock left the slingshot, he knew that it would hit the rooster. He had killed Grandma’s prize rooster. He quickly buried the rooster in the far back section of the farm. Just as he was finishing, a sweet voice said, “You’ve killed the rooster!” Looking up, he begged his sister to keep his secret!
That night at dinner, when Grandma told Susie that it was her turn to wash the dishes, she told Grandma that Billy had agreed to wash the dishes. Billy looked at her in astonishment, and she said quietly, “The rooster … you killed the rooster.” Billy slaved away throughout the summer, completing Susie’s chores. It was a long, hot summer, and Billy didn’t spend much time with Grandma — and he avoided Susie, too.
It was a horrible summer! Billy wasted all of his energy on covering up instead of enjoying life in the country. It is mystifying to me that people, companies, and churches spend so much more energy covering up problems than it would take to solve them.
Finally about a week before the end of summer, he couldn’t stand it any more. Breakdown always occurs before breakthrough. He really missed being around Grandma and all of those big hugs she gave. The manipulation required to keep everyone away from the rooster’s grave and the long summer of doing dishes was exhausting. Finally he couldn’t stand it any longer, and Billy bolted into the house and confessed to Grandma, “I’ve killed the rooster, I’ve killed the rooster. I’m so sorry.” Grandma gently hugged him and told him that she had known all along; she had been watching from the upstairs window. As a matter of fact, she had been saving the egg money all summer to buy a new rooster and it should arrive in the next few days.
Most of our secrets involve others, and it is usually our family. They often profit from the dysfunction that secrets create. A man went to a psychologist because his wife thought she was a chicken. The psychologist suggested that he bring his wife in for an appointment so that he could cure her of this impression. The man replied that it might not be such a good idea because they needed the eggs.
We have all made mistakes, and we have tried to cover them up. We then mope around while people manipulate us. We become the accused and are beaten down, thinking that God will condemn us. The truth is that we are all defective and have been recalled by our Maker. God is like Grandma. He has paid for our sins. He is not going to condemn you. He is going to kiss you. The roosters have been paid for, and the truth will set you free. Don’t let secrets sabotage your spiritual growth. Quit covering up, speak up and tell Sister to do the dishes.