“Why are the two of you fighting?” I asked my dad as a young child.
“Your mom and I aren’t fighting. We are having a discussion,” my dad would say.
It sure sounded like a fight to me. The reason it was easy for me to believe him is because I saw how much they loved one another when the discussions weren’t so loud and animated. They “discussed” fairly and never called each other names or said crude comments to one another, and I never saw them have these types of discussions in public.
When Christians disagree with one another, especially outside the context of the family, they do not look like discussions but rather come across as bitter arguments. When they revert to using harsh and destructive language, the gospel is distorted to a watching world. This is increasingly more destructive in the digital space, especially when someone can remain anonymous and use vicious language. The world is taking notice.
A recent Barna study revealed that 30 percent of evangelicals fight online. One out of four people who have argued online say that most arguments started by a stranger who did not like what they posted. Roxanne Stone, editor-in-chief at the Barna Group, attributes online arguing to a lack of etiquette for the internet, as opposed to the social etiquette once seen around the dinner table. “It seems important today that we expand our idea of ‘neighbor’ to the digital space as well,” Stone writes.
Jesus offered a litmus test for the proof that His disciples were authentic in John 13 after washing their feet in humility: “Love one another” (John 13:34). In Luke 6:45, Jesus says, “Out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” If your heart is full of grace and truth, your speech about one another will prove it. Let us be countercultural and treat one another with civility.
— Lee Clamp is associate executive director-treasurer for the South Carolina Baptist Convention.