The Joy of Pastoring

Tony Wolfe

Tony Wolfe

Tony Wolfe is executive director-treasurer of the South Carolina Baptist Convention

I miss being a pastor. Don’t get me wrong, I am confident in God’s calling on my life in this season, and I love it. Vanessa and I are very fulfilled, and there is nowhere we would rather be. But our confidence and joy in this calling doesn’t change our affection for the office and work of pastoring. Vanessa and I both miss that season of our lives. It was difficult and stressful, for sure. But it was also rewarding, encouraging, and exhilarating. In light of Pastor and Wife Appreciation Month, I’d like to offer a few thoughts on what I miss most — what we miss most — about serving a local church as a pastor and his wife.

Long-term spiritual investment in broken people

One of the greatest joys of pastoral ministry is to meet real, broken people in their darkest moments, then disciple them through the pain and back into the joy of a thriving walk with Jesus. Marriages in crises, grieving families, angry alcoholics, hardheaded atheists, repentant inmates, rebelling children, depressed teenagers, aging senior adults. Real people with real problems. It was the real work of ministry on the front lines. And to see the turn-around — to watch repentance and faith change a person, and a family — that’s the good stuff! And we miss it.

Pastoring (and pastor’s wife-ing) the town

I remember showing up at the hospital bed of a community member who openly spoke ill of me. He was flabbergasted. I smiled with genuine affection. Gave his wife a hug. Prayed fervently for his healing. Told him I loved him (because I did). I remember praying at football games and counseling hotheaded coaches at halftime. Leading a school principal and his family to Christ. Spiritually investing in disconnected community members during baseball practices and band concerts. Helping revive the annual Valentine’s Day parade through town and the Christmas gathering at the little country store. Sometimes I felt like I could never be “off.” But looking back, we loved it. And we miss it.

Baptisms

There’s something about being in the water with new Christians when they make that public profession of faith in Jesus. I wanted to get wet with them. Preached in wet socks and disheveled hair on more than one occasion, when baptism got messy. It was awkward. And a little embarrassing. But I loved it. And I miss it.

Funerals and weddings

I know, missing funerals sounds morbid. But there was rarely a time I felt more deeply and emotionally invested in a family than when helping them plan their 16-year-old son’s funeral after he took his own life. And there was rarely a celebration more deeply rewarding than giving testimony to a 99-year-old Christian woman’s race well run. And weddings! The ones outside in the 110-degree Texas heat and the cool ones inside when the flower girl and ring bearer froze and screamed out loud. But what joy — what mystery — when two become one and their union becomes a visual catechism of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I miss that.

Intentional affirmation

Every Sunday after church, Bro. Bob would be the last in the handshaking line — Alzheimer’s setting in and physical restrictions robbing him of the autonomy he cherished for so long as a hard-working man. He’d grab my right hand, look me deep in the eyes, and say, “I love you, son, and I’m proud of you.” I believed him. I loved him, too. And I miss him.

Is pastoring difficult? Yes. But it is also the most exhilarating, most joyful, most meaningful, and most rewarding calling we have ever embraced. Being a pastor and wife is the adventure of a lifetime. If you have this joy today, Vanessa and I want you to know that we appreciate you. We love you. And we are proud of you.