Thirty years. Three decades. It couldn’t have been that long, could it? Yes, it has been.
The Jeff Robinson family came into existence a few minutes after 3:30 p.m. on June 3, 1995, at House of Prayer Church in Blairsville, Georgia. At that moment, our dear friend and longtime pastor Jerry Helton pronounced us husband and wife. Thus began, in the words of an old Steven Curtis Chapman song, a great adventure.
Three decades, four children (in a 5.5-year span: Jeffrey Jr., Hannah, Lydia, and Jake), five states, six ministry venues, seven moves, eight years in seminary, thousands of drops of blood, sweat, and tears, and at least a million laughs later, here we stand. How? Last week, I was asked that question by a couple who’d recently undertaken the great adventure known as holy matrimony. “What’s been the secret to longevity?” they asked. This is what I told them.
- Jesus Christ is our foundation and cornerstone.
It starts with him and ends with him. And he is in the middle. Two people individually submitted to his Lordship. Two people collectively submitted to his Lordship every single day. Remove this foundation and the sinking sand of this world is all that’s left; beyond Christ, there is no firm place on which to stand. It’s Christ alone, foundation and cornerstone.
- We’ve been privileged to be part of strong, Christ-centered, Bible-preaching local churches.
We’ve been blessed to belong to churches that believe in the full inspiration, inerrancy, authority, and sufficiency of God’s Word as the infallible guide to all of life under the sun.
- There’s been plenty of adversity, but we’ve had a mighty, sovereign God to carry us through it.
We knew storms would blow onto the shores of our lives as we journey together through a world with devils filled, so we agreed that we’d cling to our great God and to each other. By no means have the waters always been smooth. Our first pregnancy miscarried. Local church ministry came with gut-wrenching dangers, toils, and snares: sheep that bit us, and an active enemy who sowed seeds of discord within the flock. My mother and
brother died. Finances waxed and waned. A Hallmark movie this wasn’t.
And there’s been the matter of wrestling with our own ornery, self-loving hearts.
We agreed from the outset that words like “divorce” and “leaving” would exist only in the songs of George Jones and Merle Haggard that I sometimes enjoy on the radio.
When holy wedlock devolved into holy headlock—it did on occasion, and less frequently still does—we agreed not to let the sun set on our anger (Eph. 4:26). Our first squabble broke out on day one over whether we would listen to Hank Williams Jr. or Michael Buble on the car radio enroute to the honeymoon in New Orleans. I’ll allow the reader to muse over which spouse argued for what artist (the astute reader will note an insightful hint that lurks in the previous paragraph).
In those early days of adjusting to each another, there were a few ferocious knockdown, drag outs—after all, we were two sinners in the middle of our own sanctification, and we still are—but God’s grace always dragged us back together. The battles, as barbells do in a good workout, made us sore at first, but strengthened our marital muscles later, steadying us for the long haul.
- We’ve tried to take the things of God with blood earnest seriousness, but we’ve laughed long and often at us.
This was particularly useful that time we awoke to find four teenagers bearing our last name living under our roof. We survived them and they survived us. Laughter lessened the sorrows involved.
- We committed from day one to communication, faithfulness, accountability, and truth-telling.
Enduring relationships are built on trust; trust is built on truth. Remove truth and it all falls down. Practically, this led to things like a joint Facebook page and instant access to one another’s internet history. We’ve done all we could to pitch a shutout against Satan’s hard-swinging team. Thankfully, that battle belongs to the Lord. And Satan cannot touch his fastball.
- God flooded our lives with his wonderful people.
I’m convinced that no one has been surrounded by more excellent specimens of humility, godliness, and Christ-centeredness in marriage than have we. God has given us amazing gifts in the form of friends and mentors whose lives and marriages have lit the path ahead very clearly for us.
We’ve had the privilege of watching couples like Tom and Margaret Nettles and Tom and Diane Schreiner and Harry and Cindy Reeder. Both Lisa and I grew up with parents who were committed for decades to each other and the local church. Many close friends have strong marriages.
One of my favorite recent commercials features legendary fiddler Charlie Daniels in a ball room, a bit out of his customary honky tonk domain. As he walks by the young violin player, he grabs the instrument and proceeds to rip off a few high-flying bars of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.” He hands back the golden fiddle to the spellbound young violinist, “Here son, that’s how it’s done.” In similar manner, God has used our dear friends to show us how it’s done. We would not be the same people, the same couple, the same family, without them.
The Hero: It Ain’t Us, Babe
The hero of our story is not us, but our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and his amazing grace that arrested us way back then and has worked to transformed us over 30 years (We remain a work in progress with many miles to go in reaching maturity). All who knew us back at the beginning have witnessed his loving handiwork. The fact that Lisa has been able to look at me for three decades and love for me for those same long years is something only a great and mighty God could do.
On that sweltering Georgia afternoon in 1995, two sinners said, “I do.” While neither of us have been anywhere near perfect, and we’ve hit bumps and harbored bruises along this winding path that is the ultimate earthly commitment, we still do.
Every day we have together is a gift from our gracious God. Every success we’ve had is by his power and strength alone. Not to us, but to him alone belongs the glory for 30 wonderful years. May it please him to give us 30 more.
“Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness” (Ps. 115:1).