At Home – by Rudy Gray

It has been said that what does not kill us will strengthen us. We do not like pain, but it is often through our pain that we change, grow and develop.

Rudy Gray

Grief is a journey in pain. We can grieve over many different things. Normally, we associate grief with the death of a loved one. Grief comes when we experience loss. This experience can have many different feelings: anger, hurt, guilt, sadness, resentment, hopelessness, helplessness, depression and others.

The interesting thing about grief is that it is not something we can just automatically turn off without unhealthy consequences. The big question when we experience loss is not if we grieve, but how we grieve.

In 1 Thesssalonians, Paul wrote about how Christians should grieve because of our faith in Christ. If a loved one has died and that person was a Christian and we know Christ as Savior, then his counsel fits us perfectly: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope” (4:13). That is the major difference in how Christians grieve. We have hope. This hope is not a “hope so,” “wish,” or “maybe.” It is a confident expectation. It is an attitude based in God’s truth. We will see them again in heaven.

People may go through stages as they grieve. More than 90 percent of people who experience grief need to be heard. Crying is an obvious and healthy expression of grief, but so is talking through the sometimes confusing feelings that run through our minds.

When we grieve, we may have a very unique way of doing it, but there are some general traits all grievers share in common. When grief strikes, we can put into practice the truth that grief is a process. It is not finished in a day, and it will not last a lifetime.

We can utilize our resources when we grieve: friends, family and church. We can, most importantly, turn to God. Neither God’s truth nor God Himself will change, even though our feelings or circumstances might. Hebrews 4:15 says we have a High Priest (Jesus) who can sympathize with our weaknesses.