SPARTANBURG, S.C. – On my first overseas mission trip in 1999, I knelt alone in a dark hotel room in Romania and surrendered my life to missions. Last year, I married a wonderful man who has the same passion for the lost that I do, and we began the application process for International Service Corps.
God has given us many opportunities to minister overseas to prepare us for full-time service. However, when the opportunity came for our church to go to the South Asia annual meeting, we did not consider it. We knew we could never afford the cost of the trip, so we just put the idea of going out of our minds and encouraged my parents to go.
One Sunday night, Mickey Henderson, our minister of music, approached me about going to be part of the worship team. He told me to pray about it and let him know. I still didn’t really think much about it, knowing we couldn’t do that financially, and I didn’t want to go without my husband, Philip.* After a week or so, Mickey asked me again what I thought and then encouraged me to see what God would do. I talked with Philip, and we decided that I would go alone and just trust God to supply the funds needed.
Several weeks passed, and I hadn’t raised a dime. Then, all at once, the money showed up! It was clearly God’s hand at work. I knew that He had something for me there. I thought maybe it had something to do with Philip and me going to the mission field this year, but I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that I was excited to go and minister to those who would soon be my co-workers.
In May, a month before we were to leave, Philip and I received the news that we would not be able to work for the International Mission Board this year. Due to a sharp decline in giving, the IMB leadership decided to suspend the ISC program. I had never received a more devastating phone call. This news affected me in every area of my life, including my desire to go to on the trip.
I began to be very concerned about how I was going to handle being there with so many missionaries. I had no idea how in the world I was going to stand on that stage and lead worship for the people who got to do every day what I had just been told I could not do! I was terrified; but I had committed, so I was going to go to sing and take care of children. God, however, had a very wonderful plan ? one that I couldn’t have imagined ? for my very wounded heart.
The first day of the conference, the worship team arrived in the ballroom early for a sound check. We warmed up by singing Days of Elijah. I was so brokenhearted that I could not sing. Tears filled my eyes, my throat tightened, and I lost myself in my despair. I could not do this! After a word of wisdom from my mother and prayer, I stood on the stage with my church family and worshipped hard! It was incredible to lead those precious servants in worship ? in English!
Following the music that day, my heart was very open to the Lord ? more so than it had been in several weeks ? and I was ready to soak up every word of our pastor’s sermon. As our pastor began preaching about God sending Elijah to Cherith alone and totally dependent on Him, I felt my heart begin to soften even more. I was ready to hear from the Lord, but I did not expect what I heard. Pastor Hamlet made a statement I will never forget, and the Holy Spirit immediately overwhelmed my heart. “You have to be just as willing to be set aside as you are to be used,” he said. Oh how painfully wonderful it was to hear those words. I did not want to be set aside! I wanted to be used, and it was not fair that I didn’t get to go and serve with my husband. I had been waiting 10 years to get to go, and now I was told I couldn’t. I had not been OK with being set aside, but that day my heart changed.
Our mighty God continued to show Himself throughout my time there. He spoke to my spirit and mended my heart through His Word, songs, friends, and the faithful servants to whom we were ministering.
The day before South Asia’s reorganization launched, there was a special prayer time for leadership. As missionaries crowded around these couples to intercede for them, a journeyman walked up on the stage and knelt down beside me. She didn’t know me ? or my story. After asking my name, she placed her hands on my back and began to pray for me. This precious lady, prayed for my heart for the nations. She prayed for my heart for South Asia and thanked God for raising me up in His time. Wow! Through her bold obedience, God confirmed in my heart that Philip and I will still serve overseas, but it will happen in His time. This journeyman had no idea why the Holy Spirit led her to me, but He knew this simple act would bring much peace and healing to my heart.
As the week progressed and I began to hear the statistics about unengaged, unreached people groups in South Asia, the Lord began to break my heart for them. During one of our breaks, I shared what God was doing in my heart with a missionary I had met at North Spartanburg’s Global Impact Conference in 2008. As I did my best to tell her what had been taking place in my heart, her eyes welled up with tears. She smiled and told me that they had seen my name on the list of people coming from South Carolina and brought me a gift to remind me to pray for their people. The small hand-carved elephant, along with the Holy Spirit, gave me some clarity and direction as to where God may be leading us in the years to come.
Throughout the week there, the Lord renewed my heart and desire to share the greatness of His name. He renewed my commitment to go to the ends of the earth so that the nations may know. However, more than renewal, God used the trip to teach me a wonderfully freeing lesson. My plans are plans waiting to fall through! He has placed a calling on my life that will never fall through and will be fulfilled in His time! “Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD” (Psalm 27:14, NASB).
*Name changed. Charis Sayre and her husband, Philip, are members of First Baptist North Spartanburg in Spartanburg, S.C.
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