Even as a growing number of churches embrace Facebook and other social media tools as ministry aids (see related story), two youth pastors in South Carolina recognize that online communication, while instant and convenient, comes with its own set of challenges.
“One of the pluses with Facebook is that students and youth leaders can communicate more effectively and quickly,” said Terry Feil, family ministries and student pastor at Riverbluff Church, North Charleston, who uses Facebook to send messages about youth events “so it gets out there fast and reaches many.”
Seth Buckley, minister to students at Spartanburg First Baptist Church, also relies on Facebook for the “immediate transfer” of information to students and parents. “Many times, last-minute changes will occur, and you can communicate with a large percentage of your members in a short period of time,” he said.
Buckley said he recognizes, however, that not every teenager or parent is on Facebook, so he still uses “foolproof, old-fashioned” methods of communication, including phone calls and “snail mail.”
While both youth pastors like the convenience Facebook offers, they also acknowledge that online social networking comes with risks. For instance, Feil said, it can too easily lead to inappropriate communication. “I think youth pastors in particular have to be on guard at all times and careful about what they post or say in messages to students,” he said. “Also, I encourage my kids who have a social media outlet to come over to Facebook and abandon MySpace because of the amount of inappropriate material out there.”
Another pitfall is that students can become “addicted” to streams of information on Facebook, which can foster a “gossip mentality,” said Buckley. “When students gather together, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase, ‘Did you see so-and-so’s status? Did you see the pics he posted?’ Many times, these statements turn into speculation and gossip, which can be hurtful.”
Buckley said “there seem to be no secrets” for many students. “Their whole world is exposed – or, at least, the world they want others to see,” he said. “Many times they are building a false identity to try to impress other viewers on Facebook.”
In addition to Facebook, almost all teenagers have cell phones, and “texting is a teenager’s life,” Feil said. “Texting can be a good thing for communication, but I believe it is the avenue where most inappropriate messages are being communicated.”
Feil wants parents to keep tabs on their children’s online and texting habits. “Kids may feel they are being trespassed by parents looking at their records, but I say, ‘So what?’ The wise parent will keep a close eye.”
He recommends that parents set “firm boundaries” before giving their child a cell phone. When they cross the boundaries, they lose their privileges, he recommends.
“Students share their emotions for all to see, thinking only a few are really watching,” he cautioned.