Many leaders won’t come to the discussion table because they are bowed at the altar of the unholy trinity of self – you know, “me, myself, and I.” All the rhetoric about new breeds, reformed theology, cooperating and non-cooperating churches, nominal and standard Southern Baptists, and other such name-calling is just another evidence of our primary dysfunction, self-absorption. The labels are words of separation that generally polarize us. They distance us from each other by setting others apart through some self-defined norm, the gospel according to “me, myself, and I.” It violates the very first step of discipleship, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself?-” (Luke 9:23). Even more, it gnaws at the fine fabric of cooperation. That’s why our partnerships are so threadbare these days. We’re selfish.
HolmesEgoism smothers the graces that enable genuine cooperation and partnership – you know, virtues like self-denial, sacrifice, interdependence, mutual submission, encouragement, compassion, and so many others, not to mention love. What is more, extreme individualism narrows rather that widens vision. The childish “mine” we learn early in life morphs into a more sophisticated childishness – “what’s in it for me” – that ultimately restricts linkage to others.
Failure to recognize our need for other people is the sinful root of such conceit. No one person is the entire package. We need other people to fill gaps in our gifts, strengths, abilities, and perspectives. It is the basic lesson of 1 Corinthians 12. Just the same, no one church is going to reach every single person in a community. Churches need other churches, too. Self-absorption, however, keeps us from going there. This is because other people and other churches pose a threat. So, it’s my way or the highway.
Granted, there’s often tension between new and old. I prefer technology, while my dad favors smoke signals! Yet, resistance to the new thing God is constantly doing (Isaiah 43:19, again) is a spiritual problem. It was a recurring theme in Jesus’ teaching, the “you have heard -” and “I tell you -” contrasts that bracketed the hard-hitting lessons of the Sermon on the Mount. The religious people just couldn’t grasp what he was saying. They were arrogant and prideful, and therefore resistant, critical and exclusive. Theirs was the only way because it was the old way.
Jesus introduced the kingdom to them. It was revolutionary stuff, the lessons about the last being first, true servanthood, losing your life to find it, cross bearing, self-denial, victory in death, the antitheses of self-absorbed religiosity. He taught that the unholy trinity of “me, myself, and I” would be supplanted by God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, resident in the believer’s heart. He demonstrated the full measure of his love when he washed their feet and then became their sacrifice. Would that we could all learn the ideals of sacrifice.
The divides are plentiful – old/young, traditional/contemporary, large/small, reformed/non-reformed, rural/urban/suburban, pro-GCR/anti-GCR, hymns/choruses, suit/casual, pulpit/stool, Chevy/Ford, global mission/local mission, educated/not educated, Clemson/Carolina, upstate/midlands/lowcountry, ad nauseum. They’re not new either. The difference today is that self-absorption blinds us to the value of the other guy. It’s true on every side of every issue. And we’re going to miss what God is doing as long as we’re only admiring ourselves in the mirror.