Agree with One Another
Genesis 13:1-12; Romans 12:16-18; 15:5-6
Disagreements and arguments are inevitable in relationships. In premarital counseling, the goal is not only to improve communication skills and to minimize disagreements, but also to learn how to handle conflict properly. An argument does not always have to be a bad thing as long as both parties are willing to disagree respectfully – with the hope for resolution, not victory. A disagreement becomes an argument or a fight when the goal becomes winning the argument instead of resolving the disagreement.
Reality of disagreements: For all intents and purposes, it appears that Abram was in the will of God in Genesis 13. As God had commanded in Genesis 12, Abram left his home and set out for Canaan with his nephew Lot. In the midst of this journey which God had commanded, a disagreement arose between Abram’s herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. There is no indication in Genesis 13 that Abram and Lot were outside of God’s will, but there was still disagreement between them. Disagreements are inevitable, even among godly people following God’s will, but disagreements do not have to be divisive.
Seeking solutions: Just because disagreements are inevitable does not mean that we should either seek to be disagreeable or that we should be content in our disagreements. When a disagreement arose between Abram and Lot, the two relatives sought a solution. As the older relative, Abram could have simply sent Lot away or designated a portion of the land for him to occupy. Instead, Abram sought to be a peacemaker by proposing generous terms to settle the disagreement. Often, making peace with others will require sacrifice in your own life. The sacrifices you make will be contrary to the desires of your flesh, but they will be blessed by God as you seek to make peace with others.
Grounds of agreement: But what motivation do we have to seek peace with others – especially when that peace brings with it a cost to ourselves? In Romans 12:16 and 18, Paul writes, “Live in harmony with one another – . If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” The motivation we have to seek peace with others is the command of God. It is possible that there are people in this world with whom you will not be able to make peace, but Paul commands that such things come as a result of the actions of the other party, not you. As Christians, we are commanded by God to do all we can to live at peace with others, and according to Romans 15:5-6, this is the reason why: “May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Thompson– Lessons by Craig Thompson, pastor of Malvern Hill Church, Camden. Thompson earned his B.A from Presbyterian College and is pursuing a Ph.D. from Southern Seminary, where he also earned his M.Div.