When you got up this morning, was the bird singing outside your window a buzzard? Did you put your pants on backwards and they fit better? Did you wake up to discover that your waterbed had leaked and then realized you don’t have a waterbed? You may be tempted to have a pity party and invite only yourself so that you get all the pity and all the refreshments (four or five Snickers). I want to tell you it isn’t as bad as you think. Listen to what happened to Mr. Jones.
One day, Mrs. Jones decided to get rid of some bad hairspray that she had. She decided that a good way to get rid of it would be to spray it into the commode. Shortly afterwards, her husband, Mr. Jones, came home. As was his usual custom, he went to the “reading room” (bathroom) to relax. As soon as he was comfortably seated, he lit a cigarette and tossed the match between his legs into the commode. You guessed it! The hairspray exploded and blew Mr. Jones heavenward (or sideward).
Unfortunately for Mr. Jones, the shower bar stopped his ascent. So, after the ambulance arrived, the driver asked Mrs. Jones how Mr. Jones got both a burned backside and a concussion at the same time. She began to explain what had happened as the ambulance attendants were carrying Mr. Jones down the stairs. The ambulance drivers got so tickled about the story that they dropped Mr. Jones down the stairs and broke both his arms.
Poor Mr. Jones. It definitely was not his day. He suffered one burned backside, one concussion, and two broken arms.
Now don’t you feel better already? Look for something good, something to be thankful for. If you can’t think of anything to be thankful for, read the paper and be thankful it didn’t happen to you.
If you still can’t find anything to be thankful for, be thankful for your nose. Be thankful God put it on right side up. What if God had put your nose on upside down? If it rained, you would drown, and if you sneezed, you would blow your thankless head off.
See, I “nose” you feel better already.