Over the years, I have treated many individuals who had been involved in violence. Most had violence inflicted upon them. But it was not uncommon for me to meet the alleged perpetrators, who sat on the ER stretcher in handcuffs.
Unfortunately, in these contentious times violence is not rare. It’s probably good to think about ways to avoid being involved in dangerous interactions. This is especially true for young men, who seem to find themselves in these situations.
When my sons were young, I gave them one of the most important bits of wisdom I could think of when it came to dealing with possible violence: “Boys, learn to keep your mouths shut.” That is, don’t provoke angry, potentially dangerous people, and don’t give them reasons to stay angry. It’s all too easy to face off with another man and say, “Oh, yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?” Or “do you have a problem? Let’s take this outside!”
Things like that might feel empowering in the moment — but, in the end, one never knows when a gun or knife will appear, or when the unarmed individual turns out to be a dangerous person who has no restraint. (Or when all of his friends decide to join in the assault.)
The other thing I would say to a young man now is that it’s always best, when misunderstandings and anger arise, to simply say, “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything,” or “I apologize if I insulted you.’”
Another reality of violence is that alcohol is associated with half of all violence (including half of murders) worldwide.
People who are intoxicated are more prone to violence.
When trouble is brewing, at a party or even on a city street, the best possible path is to find a safe exit and leave the area. Call the police along the way. But staying to watch and film the “festivities” is dangerous. Bullets don’t care who is in their path. This is even more true when a man is responsible for the safety of his wife, girlfriend, a date or a child.
I’ve seen people die of violent injuries, and it’s a horrible thing, between the wounds, the blood, and the weeping of family members. The less of it we all experience, the better.