The phrase “uncomfortable grace” may be unfamiliar to you — as it was to me — but that doesn’t mean we haven’t experienced it. In the past few weeks, I’ve become increasingly aware of its presence upholding us in very trying times. When our faith feels weak and our knees buckle, God’s gentle mercies often provide the renewed strength we need to face our deepest fears. This is my understanding of what “uncomfortable grace” means.
My wife, Michelle, suffered a sudden cardiac arrest the last weekend in September for unexplained reasons. Even in the midst of horrifying events, there have been remarkable instances of uncomfortable grace — beginning with her resuscitation and “miraculous” recovery.
First, she was already at the hospital for another condition at the time. Trained medical staff were readily available and rushed to her rescue. In a matter of minutes, they restored her pulse, and she was breathing, although on a ventilator for a short period. Compassionate and skilled ICU care teams have been at her side. Uncomfortable grace.
One imagines oneself as being calm and collected in extreme circumstances. I was an emotional wreck. I was quickly ushered out of her room as CPR was being performed, but from where I sat in the hall, I could hear times and counts being called out. Sheer terror gripped me firmly. Yet, even as I phoned our daughter and son to tell them what was happening, a hospital chaplain appeared seemingly from out of nowhere. As he prayed for Michelle, he offered very encouraging words, and a nurse stood at my side to steady me. Uncomfortable grace.
I’m grateful family members live nearby. They arrived in a few minutes, even before they rolled Michelle past me into ICU with tubes and wires hooked up all over her body. Their support and love has been critical. Uncomfortable grace.
As this issue goes to press, Michelle, who had been discharged from the hospital briefly, was back in ICU again after suffering a serious setback restricting her mobility. Even so, uncomfortable grace has been evident in these stormy seas.
The Gospel of Matthew tells of Peter’s experience walking toward Jesus on the water. A considerable distance from land, the boat the disciples were in was being buffeted by the waves of a stormy sea in the dark of night.
“But when he [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’
“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ ” (See Matthew 14:22-33.)
Perhaps we all can readily identify with Peter. In the midst of stormy seas, it’s easy to take your eyes off Jesus and sink in dismay and terror. As the crashing waves overwhelm us, we begin to doubt God’s goodness, to question why we have to endure incredible pain, and we often miss seeing His hand extending toward us. “Fear not!” He calls to us. But it’s only when we’re back in the boat, the winds have died down, and the dawn comes that we realize the Son of God has been there with us all the while, lifting us yet again, through stormy seas. Uncomfortable grace!