Writing about how married couples handle their money is a tricky matter, mostly because both parties, though one in marriage, may have very different opinions on how finances should be handled in the marriage. To begin, both the husband and the wife bring to the marriage their own ideas of how to manage money, which may include stellar (godly and responsible) money management or bad habits and debt. Before a couple is married, this would be worth more than one well-considered and deep conversation (think a premarital counseling session or a conversation over a dinner date).
As a Christian couple, it is important to base your financial decisions on God’s Word, the Bible.
We must first recognize that God is the owner of all our resources.
- “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein …” (Ps. 24:1).
- … for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours …” (1 Chron. 29:11b).
Then, we need to understand that we are to give generously of our resources (this includes our money but is not limited solely to money).
- “They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share” (1 Tim. 6:18).
We are also commanded in Scripture to give cheerfully.
- “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Cor. 9:7).
Husbands and wives need to agree to obey and apply these biblical concepts.
Since many Christians enter marriage having little knowledge, or incorrect ideas, of money management, it may take some time, prayer, and patience to arrive at a place in your marriage where you can discuss and grow together in financial wisdom. Seek godly counsel in this area. It is oftentimes a process of spiritual growth and learning to trust God in this critical area of your marriage — but it is worth the time invested!
This was the case for my husband and me. We did not learn about tithing growing up in church or at home. But once we did, early in our marriage, we grew to understand that God owned all that we had, and we were responsible for giving a portion back to Him. We had to learn that God can, and should, be trusted with our finances.
As we became obedient in handling our finances in a God-honoring way, we saw God provide in so many amazing ways — provision in times when we didn’t think we would be able to give or in times when a bill was near due and we didn’t have the money to pay it. After teaching school for several years, the Lord gave me a desire to become a homemaker as my second child was on the way. This required a huge leap of faith, but one that my husband encouraged and supported.
Fast forward several years: God called my husband and me to serve Him in church planting overseas. This meant that my husband would leave his career as a supermarket manager, and we would live on a small salary. Because God had been teaching us to trust Him with our finances, and He gave us the faith to trust Him even more, we were able to sell our home and vehicles and pack up to move overseas. We never lacked for anything during our three terms of missionary service. We even have six children, so you can imagine the needs we had. Truly, nothing is too big for our God!
Working together to figure out how to manage your finances can be challenging, but fun as well. The practical aspects of which bank(s) to use, how/to which ministries to give, how to budget your money, and who will pay the bills each month need to be discussed and worked out between husbands and wives. It is important to remember that unity in your marriage is crucial. This is why some of these conversations should take place before getting married.
Pray before starting any discussions about money management. In the end, wives should submit to their husbands and trust that God will work in his heart if things are amiss in that area of your marriage. This is difficult to do but is a non-negotiable so that the wife might remain obedient to God. Again, God can be trusted, and His grace is sufficient as you grow in managing your money together.
— Marilee Flook is the K-8 principal at Tampa Bay Christian Academy in Florida, and she is currently pursuing her Ed.D. in Education Leadership K-12 through North Greenville University’s online program. She and her husband, Steve, have been married almost 35 years and were former IMB missionaries in Dominican Republic and Bolivia.