“We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” (Psalm 78:4)
It is Thursday evening and Mom, Dad, and three kids are home after being at school, daycare, and work for the day. Dinner is finished and partly cleaned up. Three young children in pajamas gather in the living room with Mom and Dad. One child picks out two stories for Mom or Dad to read. Then, prayer and a worship song will be shared. Most of the time, it doesn’t look like three children are listening to stories, prayer, and song. Actually, not sitting still for kids is often part of the occasion. However, gospel sharing is taking place. Little voices are learning how to pray and sing praises to the one true king – King Jesus. After six years of a nightly routine that looks something like this in our home, my husband and I are keenly aware that this is an important time for the whole family.
In this short article, I hope to share with you: first, that family discipleship begins with one’s own relationship and worship of the Lord. Second, I will share a few practical elements of family discipleship that are part of our family currently with young children. Lastly, I will encourage you to begin now and begin messy, by God’s grace.
I write this as a wife and mother of three young kids. I write as one who loves Jesus Christ and his Church, and I seek to make much of Him with my life. The shepherding of our children is an important joy and responsibility that has been entrusted to me by God, in partnership and under the leadership of my loving husband. Together with him, we are shepherds of souls. Parents, may we not forget that we are shepherding souls – souls that are eternal. Might we pray diligently that their souls will worship Jesus, by His grace, and will live forever worshipping Him.
Discipling your children begins with discipling yourself
When parents or churches think of “family discipleship” or “disciple-making among children,” the first question that commonly comes to mind is: What rhythms should we set up in our home so that our children are exposed to God’s Word and to prayer? The next question is probably: Do you use a favorite Bible storybook for children? These are not wrong questions. They are actually perfect questions, but they focus on the practical side of: What do I do with my children so we can have family discipleship time?
I suggest that we consider a different question first. Specifically, how am I doing with my own personal discipleship? How is my spouse doing with his or her own personal discipleship?
My walk with Jesus Christ impacts many aspects of my parenting, including the ways that I seek to disciple our children. On most mornings, I am up before most of our children while the house is dark and quiet. I sit with the Father, which teaches me dependence on Him. I am reminded of His love and patience toward me, a redeemed sinner. I ask Him to help me to show His love, patience, and care toward my children. He has entrusted them to my husband and I for a little while. However, our children are His creation.
I will share with you something that has blessed my personal discipleship and the leading of my children: Let your children see you spending time with the Father through Bible reading and prayer.
Imagine that you are a young child, about 3 years old. If you saw your Mom or Dad doing one thing each morning before the day begins, might you eventually conclude that it is important? Further, one day you may aspire to “mimic” them and join in on their behavior. You might get your own journal, scribble some notes, and draw pictures. As an older child, you may genuinely join in the morning’s activity to open your own Bible, read, and pray. If you are reading this and you elementary or above children who still live at home, consider encouraging “family Bible time” in the home each morning. A time for each family member to spend time quietly with God before the day gets busy.
As a Mom with young children, it has been challenging for me, at times, that I am not truly alone during my “alone time” with God in the morning because one or more children were up with me. Sometimes playing quietly, and sometimes asking for my attention. Upon becoming a parent, it is a transition to have children with you during this time. But, it is a very worthwhile transition. Be willing to be interrupted, and be willing to have your children nearby. My goal is to be awake before my kids each day, but that doesn’t always happen. Perhaps your Bible or your notebook have scribbles and drawings. Still, are they learning that following Jesus Christ is important to Mom and Dad?
Consider the alternative. What if your children never saw you with the Bible open and praying alone in the home? I think that is an opportunity lost. Yes, we each need time alone with God to quiet our souls and commune with our Heavenly Father. But, I think children are also blessed by parents who sit with them nearby, spending time with the Lord.
Discipling your children: Have a plan and keep it simple
Before considering a few practical ideas for family discipleship rhythms, let’s consider the purpose of these rhythms and our prayer for our children. We aim to “tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” (Psalm 78:4b). Namely, we share the gospel: The good news of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ came to earth, lived in perfect submission to the Father, willingly gave up His life, died, and was raised to life after three days. The forgiveness of our sins and perfect peace with God is available because Jesus loves us and gave up Himself. Like Paul described: “For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures” (1 Corinthians 15:3-4a). My husband and I pray that God opens the eyes and ears of our children to put their faith and hope in Christ and worship Him as Lord.
My husband and I have three children, aged 6, 4, and 2. Some of our discipleship rhythms have been the same since our oldest was about 6 months old. Most of our rhythms have ebbed and flowed, and that will continue to be the case. Here are our discipleship rhythms with our toddler, preschool, and early elementary children.
- Pray in the car before daycare, school, or a morning outing.
- Catechisms for elementary age children or older every Monday, Wednesday, Friday on the drive to school.
- Scripture memory during occasional meals and car rides.
- Use every day moments to teach Biblical principles and theology.
- Family worship before bed.
Please be reminded that I am giving one family’s example of discipleship habits. Find the flow that works best for your family. The most important thing is to start. Start messy and keep going. Also, you aren’t alone if you hoped your children would always listen with arms folded and legs crossed while you and your spouse teach about God. Our kids move around sometimes, and I bet yours do too. I am pretty sure they are listening even if they don’t sit perfectly still. Again, if you wait until your children display perfect behavior, you will become stalled and discouraged.
Family Worship Before Bedtime
Our family’s most concentrated time of discipleship is just before our kids go to bed. Some families may choose to do this at breakfast time, or even mid-day. Hopefully, there is a daily time when the whole family is present: Parents included.
At bedtime, we gather as a family in one room and follow a pattern for family worship: Reading, Prayer, and Song.
Reading: We ask one child per night (taking turns) to choose two books: A children’s book about God and another short book (not about God). We read each, starting with the Biblical book, as to hold their attention. We love the “Big Theology for Little Hearts” series by Devon Provencher for short Gospel truths and “The Gospel Story Bible: Discovering Jesus in the Old and New Testaments” by Marty Machowski for longer stories. (Please see the end of this article for a list of recommended resources).
Prayer: After reading, we take prayer requests and praises, and we pray.
Song: Lastly, we sing a hymn or children’s worship song. For example, “Be Thou My Vision” or “Jesus Loves Me.” Sing the songs that are often part of Sunday morning worship at your church. Here is a tip that has helped us: If your church prints the song lyrics in a bulletin each Sunday, take those home and choose a bulletin to sing from each night. That works very well for our family.
Learning to Pray
There are many opportunities to pray each day as a family. Pray before each meal. Pray out loud when you drive to school or daycare, or on your first outing of the day. Take prayer requests and praises from preschool children and up. They will enjoy “repeating after you” to talk to God in prayer and to learn how to pray.
Scripture Memory
Scripture memory has greatly blessed my adult life since I began following Christ at age 25. Thus, it’s been my aim to include some memorization for my young children. Their minds are like sponges, and they can memorize. They enjoy it more than we think. Also, any age is a good time to begin learning the words of Scripture by heart.
Here are the passages that my husband and I taught our children to memorize between ages 3 and 6. I encourage you to choose passages that are meaningful to you. You may feel the tendency to be stalled because you are trying to decide on the “perfect” verse(s) that you want them to learn as a child. I encourage you not to be caught in perfectionism. God’s word never returns void (Isaiah 55:11).
We started with:
- Psalm 119:11-12: “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against You. Blessed are you, O Lord, teach me your statutes.”
- Joshua 1:9: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
- Genesis 1:1: “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.”
- Psalm 56:3: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in You.”
Begin now, begin messy
You will be discouraged and quietly give up on planned time to disciple your children if (a) you are looking for the “perfect” plan or the ideal age to begin, or (b) you feel like you aren’t qualified to lead them. If you are in Christ, God has given you the Holy Spirit. Pray and ask for His help to lead your family. Ask him for patience as you lead your children.
If you’re reading this and you don’t have kids, but you hope to have them one day, practice the spiritual disciplines and habits of the household listed above alone, with your friends, or family members. These personal disciplines are always relevant and useful for our building up.
If you are a parent, God has entrusted you with precious souls for a little while. They belong to their Creator, God. May He give us grace to lead them. May He do the work that only He can do, which is the saving of souls. May Jesus Christ be praised in our homes and families.
Recommended resources:
- “A New Baptist Catechism: Important Questions and Answers to Instruct Children About God and the Gospel” by Dwayne Milioni. Linked.
- “Who is Jesus?: Forty Pictures to Share with Your Family” by Katie Hox. Linked.
- “Tales that Tell the Truth” series. Authors are various. Published by The Good Book Company.com. Linked.
- “Big Theology for Little Hearts” series by Devon Provencher. These are board books. Best for ages 0-6. Linked
- Worship music for children. We use YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Music, etc to listen to these.