For many years I have had a love-hate relationship with the Christmas season. I love the Christmas season because it provides opportunities to reflect on the coming of God’s Son to save humanity from sin. In his letter to the church at Galatia, Paul articulates well the essence of the season: “God sent forth his Son, born of a woman … to redeem those under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons” (Galatians 4:4). Nevertheless, I sometimes dread the Christmas season because its original message frequently gets lost in some of the more negative features of our American Christmas culture. Regretfully, crass materialism, sentimentality and unrealistic expectations at times overshadow the true message of Christmas. To see materialism, watch the television commercials. They will make you think that you cannot live unless you have the newest, latest whatever. One of my “favorite” advertisements is a Lexus car commercial. With dreamy music playing in the background, a husband leads his wife outside to the driveway on Christmas morning to surprise her with her new Lexus. Of course, the gift fulfills her deepest longings, and she is speechless. As I have watched that commercial in the past, I have wondered, “Does one really need a new Lexus to make the holiday complete?” I don’t think so. At least I hope not. Unfortunately, the advertisers who produced the commercial try and make one think that receiving a Lexus is essential for experiencing a meaningful Christmas.

Or take our culture’s tendency to encourage an unbiblical sentimentality in regard to Christmas. By unbiblical sentimentality, I mean our culture’s propensity to promote a nostalgic view of Christmas that has nothing to do with Scripture’s teaching. You hear people express such sentimentality when they say things like, “Christmas is for children. Christmas is really all about the joy that children experience as they open their presents.” Yes, it’s fun to watch kids open their presents. I enjoy watching little kids do just about anything, because they are funny. Nevertheless, for believers, Christmas must have greater significance than whatever amusement one feels when watching their children receive the latest Lego toy or trendy American Girl doll. Please don’t misunderstand: I don’t mean to dismiss the joy that comes from spending time with one’s children or grandchildren. Rather, I’m saying that family, while important, should not be a believer’s main focus at Christmas. Our focus should be on God’s gift to us: Christ.

Another thing that sometimes overshadows Christmas’s true meaning includes the unrealistic expectations that our culture pushes us to place on ourselves and others. For example, you must buy presents for everyone on your list, taking care not to spend too much (lest you fail to get a bargain and look foolish), nor too little (lest the recipient regard you as cheap). Or, you must attend every church Christmas party and visit every family member in their home (even though they’re many miles apart), or else you will fail to fulfill your Christmas duties. Basically you must cram your schedule so full that at the end of the season you are totally and completely exhausted. We know that Christmas should not be this way, yet year after year we give in to meeting the unrealistic expectations of others and ourselves rather than the expectations of Christ. He merely wants us to celebrate his coming in joy and thankfulness, and to make his coming known to others.

Materialism, sentimentality and unrealistic expectations are all part of our American Christmas culture, and they can cause even the most well-meaning believer to miss the true reason for the season. How, then, can you celebrate Christmas in a culture that often distorts it? Here are a few suggestions:

Talk with Others

Talk with your immediate family (spouse, children) about your desire to honor Christ this Christmas. Encourage them to share how your family can do this in biblical, simple ways. Also, discuss with your church family how your church should celebrate. Do certain activities help believers focus on Christ, or are they merely Christmas traditions that clog up the calendar? Could multiple events (e.g., parties) be combined?

Make a Plan, But Allow for Flexibility

Prior to the Christmas season, make a basic plan as to the big events you will participate in, such as eating with family and traveling. Once you have a basic plan, guard against filling the calendar with too many activities. This will be easier said than done, as people may extend many invitations to various events. But don’t be afraid to say no. Another suggestion is to set a budget as to how much you will spend on Christmas gifts. Establishing a budget will guard against spending too much, impulsive buying, and purchasing for the wrong reasons.

Designate Times to Reflect on Christ’s Coming

Set aside times of personal and corporate worship that allow you to reflect on Christ’s incarnation. For your personal devotion time, read through selected Psalms related to Christ’s coming. Read the Christmas story with your family. Take your family (even family members visiting from out of town) to a Christ-centered worship service.

Enjoy the Season

In light of the many non-Christian features we sometimes experience during the Christmas season, some Christians may be tempted to reject Christmas altogether. One should not do this. Spending time with family and friends, even giving gifts to others, are good things that believers can enjoy. Christians simply need to view the season through the lens of Scripture, taking care not to go to unbiblical extremes or to adopt non-Christian practices.