For as long as I can remember, I’ve been one of those people… a question asker. To some (typically those who meet us only in passing), the quality is endearing: “Thanks for speaking up! I’m sure many were wondering the same thing.” Those who live alongside us, however, know that eventually the shine wears off and it takes a certain degree of charity to see it as a feature rather than a flaw. There is a time for asking questions and a time for… well, not asking questions. This I have learned in my 33 years under the sun.
However, when I consider how many podcasts have taken off over the past 15 years simply by answering listeners’ questions, I can’t help but think there are more out there like me than I might’ve suspected. It’s just that not all of us took as long as I did to learn to read the room. The popularity of this Q&A format points to a fundamental truth about humans: We’re all question askers. We all have an innate desire to know what’s what, to know truth from falsity, fact from fiction. And we all crave an outlet for questions, someone reliable we can turn to. My experience leading youth group has only strengthened that hunch.
Ever since we added an open Q&A block to the last 30 minutes of youth group each week, it has easily become our teens’ favorite part of the night. And you know what? It’s easily mine as well. Even those who aren’t believers wake up and ask questions.
Teenagers Want Meat — Not Candy
I’m a teacher in the public school system, and so I regularly drive home from work pondering what will come of this generation when they’re all so consumed in shallow, fast-paced content from sunup to sundown. However valid that concern may be, every Tuesday night at youth group I’m reminded that even such a steady diet of empty content cannot quell their God-given, sharp, and vigorous minds.
What’s notable is not just the depth and the thoughtfulness of their questions, but the sort of questions they prefer to ask. Yes, there are plenty of questions about Christian dating, mental health, LGBTQ+, etc. (the things you’d expect teenagers to ask), but the overwhelming majority of questions are about biblical doctrine: God, sin, salvation, heaven, and hell. If that’s surprising to you, join the club. “Surely dating, mental health, and sexuality are more immediately relevant issues for them,” I thought. But something wonderful occurred to me. The truth is, teenagers, like all people, are interested in what’s interesting. They can’t help it, they were made to be so. And there is nothing in the universe so interesting as God.
Relationships, sexuality, possessions, mental health — these are all important issues that God cares about, and we must be diligent to teach our teens how to think biblically about them. But none of these are so pressing, so excellent, so satisfying to the human mind as the nature of the living God and the greatness of the human soul. I submit to you that your teens, wherever you are, are no different than mine: What interests them most is knowing just how their sins can be forgiven and how they can experience more of God. The only difference between teenagers and adults is that teenagers haven’t had as much time for the cares of this world to bury that instinct.
Therefore, if the question is whether or not to address your teenagers’ difficult questions in church, I’m happy to say you don’t need to waste any more energy on the matter. You must. Our teens are hungry for answers, and they’re asking questions whether we address them or not. Case in point: The father of a few of our teenagers recently called to thank me for the work we’re doing. He expressed how amazed he was at the sudden interest his children had in the Bible — interest, he said, which never used to be there when he led youth group and largely played games with them. My gentle encouragement for him was that teenagers are more interested in meat than candy; they just don’t know it until you give them some.
Creating Space for Questions
Thankfully, it seems many churches have caught on to that; hence, the prompt for this article. The more interesting question is how to create a space that welcomes difficult questions. I’ll submit just three considerations, in reverse order of importance.
Second, memorize these three words: “I don’t know.” Teenagers are professionals at spotting bunk answers. What’s worse, and I say this with the experience of a teacher, most of them aren’t willing to say, “I still don’t understand,” or, “That doesn’t make sense.” Either from a desire to be polite, or a desire not to appear dumb, they’ll accept your answer with a nod, and lie “yes” when you ask, “Does that make sense?” So, humble yourself and learn to say you don’t know rather than making something up.
Lastly, ask yourself if you are interested in God. That might be an odd question to consider, but it is the question, not just of good youth group leadership but the Christian life. Do you find God interesting? Is he thrilling to you? Is the human soul great in your mind? D.A. Carson once said, “If I have learned anything in 35 or 40 years of teaching, it is that students don’t learn everything I teach them. What they learn is what I am excited about…”
Therefore, youth leader, pastor, parent: With all my heart I implore you, if God is not beautiful and interesting to you, fix this. Pray, read the Psalms, read John Piper’s The Pleasures of God, read Jonathan Edwards’ Religious Affections, read Augustine’s Confessions, cut off whatever worldly pleasures unfit your heart and mind from feeling the greatness of God, and pray some more.
Whether they realize it or not, many teens sense that God is interesting, and they’re just looking around for someone to affirm and share in that interest. If we’re not careful, we’ll convince them they’re wrong. If we’re not careful, we’ll teach them to stop asking questions.
— Corey Giles is a pastoral resident at Kings Table Church in Nova Scotia, Canada, where he passionately teaches the Bible to curious youth students.
