(Editors’ note: This article was originally published at Desiring God)
Before I became a missionary, I assumed missionaries were supposed to be super-saints —un-caped crusaders faithfully following God anywhere and everywhere. I (almost) imagined them arriving on the field with a voice from heaven introducing them: “Holier than your local pastor. More powerful than a legion of demons. Able to speak the gospel in many languages. It’s the missionary!”
I knew that missionaries — even greats like William Carey, Lottie Moon, and Jim Elliot — were sinful humans like me, but I found it easy to suppose they had entered a higher level of spiritual life that equipped them for the powerful things God did through them. I doubt I’m the only one to think that way.
The church I grew up in did a wonderful job emphasizing the importance of missions, but it also tended to aggrandize the work of missionaries in a way that made them seem spiritually elite. Similarly, many of the missionary biographies I read deeply edified me by recounting their unique callings, significant challenges, and fruitful legacies, but they often seemed to be missing a chapter on how missionaries were fallen humans who continued to struggle with sin even as they ministered. It wasn’t until my own calling to become a missionary that I came to grips with a surprising fact: Of all the significant challenges missionaries face in seeking to minister the gospel in unreached places, our own indwelling sin might be the biggest challenge of all.
Sin Doesn’t Stay Home
I didn’t expect to become instantly holier when I first committed to serve as a missionary. My wife and I sensed a call to minister to an unreached people group in Asia, and the Lord led us to an amazing ministry. I knew that I still struggled with sin, but I think I hoped to grow into the super-saint image I had of a missionary. So, I was genuinely surprised to find that my battles with sin and temptation actually got harder instead of easier. In retrospect, however, this makes perfect sense.
Moving across cultures is stressful, and people tend to struggle with sin more under stress. The process inevitably includes loss and sadness, and people often cope with emotional weariness through sinful means. On top of that, missionaries normally leave situations of robust spiritual support (like good Christian friends and strong churches) to serve in places that lack such community (or where a language barrier prohibits access). Missionaries sign up to minister in these kinds of situations, but it means we face greater spiritual darkness and spiritual warfare with fewer resources, more emotional weariness, and more stress than ever before.
It is always discouraging to be confronted with one’s sin, but things get even messier if a missionary feels inner or outer pressure to be a super-saint. When anyone sins, we know that Jesus is our advocate, and we know that, when we confess our sins, God is “faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). But it is common for missionaries to feel like they need to pretend, hide, or perform so as not to let others down (back home or on the field).
Ugliness Exposed
I would like to say this struggle with sin as a missionary is a temporary issue that only rookies undergo. However, after years of serving as a missionary, working with other missionaries, and leading missionaries, I can confidently confirm that the battle with sin does not cease.
“Of all the challenges missionaries face in ministering the gospel, our own indwelling sin might be the biggest.”
Cultural stress can still spark anger in our hearts. Anxiety can still cripple us — and not just in situations when our lives are in danger but sometimes for no apparent reason at all. There are still regular temptations toward animosity with colleagues, irritability with national partners, and impatience with sending organizations. Marriage struggles don’t disappear either; they often feel amplified. Parenting struggles don’t go away; they get more complex. And envy — perhaps the greatest temptation facing missionaries — can emerge even after years of faithful service, when others seem successful and we do not.
It’s not that becoming a missionary makes people sin; rather, as John Owen writes, “Temptations and occasions put nothing into a man, but only draw out what was in him before” (Works, 6:169). The challenges of serving as a missionary expose sins that might otherwise have stayed hidden in less-challenging settings. Seeing this ugliness in our hearts may lead us to exclaim with the apostle Paul, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Rom. 7:24).
He Saves and Sanctifies
However, neither mission senders nor goers need be discouraged by this reality. Yes, serving as a missionary (like serving as a pastor or deacon) requires a measure of spiritual maturity, and churches are wise to discern which men and women are qualified for the task. But God does not expect missionaries to be super-saints. Instead, He calls them to cherish the very gospel they proclaim.
The chapter missing from many missionary biographies could be titled, “Missions Is Sanctification,” revealing missions as one of the most powerful means of holiness a Christian can enjoy this side of eternity. Missionaries may find themselves struggling more with sin rather than less, but God delights to use missions to draw them closer, inviting them to relish the goodness and power of His gospel.
Paul assures us “that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6). God always finishes what He starts, and He cares about the sanctification of the missionary as well as the salvation of the unreached. And in God’s marvelous and wise providence, He chose to knit these two together so that even as a missionary seeks to evangelize, God works to sanctify the missionary and deliver him from indwelling sin.
Missionaries need the gospel too, and when they hear and respond with repentance and faith, they make Jesus look even greater and more glorious. They declare with the psalmist, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Ps. 73:26).
— Brett Rayl is director and team leader of Christ Bible Institute (CBI) Japan.
